Greetings to my non-existant readers. If you expected me to let the world know what was the outcome of my prayers and soul-searching, I'm sorry to disappoint. That, for now, is between me and God; not me, God and the internet.

Has anyone noticed that Jason Mraz makes the most beautiful "la-di-da" sounds that ever eminated from a human being? I think so anyway, I don't much like his lyrics, but if he put out a CD of just him making those sounds and playing giutar, I'd so buy it and play it to death. As it is, I'll just return his CD to the library after a couple of weeks and forget about him entirely. Sorry, Mraz.

I recently went a little nuts putting CDs on hold at my library. I had about 18 on hold, and recently discovered that you can only check out 10 at a time. Darn. Anyway, I gave Mraz a try, and Anna Nalick. I have Breathe (2 Am) from Itunes already, but since it was the only song of hers I'd heard, I figured I'd give Wreck of the Day a chance. The result is that I'm intrigued by Forever Love (Digame). Again, a cd that musically is beautiful, but lyrically I'm disappointed. I have a problem with music that is definitely and without a doubt not Christian. I dont' think there is any problem with that, my saviour, Jesus Christ, is everything to me, and I don't like things or people to deny him. It is, however, making it difficult to find thought-provoking music. Especially when most Christian music seems anything but thought-provoking to me, and it doesn't help that the local radio station plays some of my least favorite songs and artists incessantly.

I have decided that I find Superchick to be the Black Eyed Peas of the Christian music world. Insulting? Maybe, but it's how I feel. I don't like Superchick, and I don't like Black Eyed Peas. (My Humps is the most idiotic and insulting song I've heard in a long time) Think about it, though, they both have catchy music, that seems to do little more than loop around a certain phrase more than is necessary. You can listen without thinking.

I hope I don't sound stuck up. I own an A-Teens CD after all. I was a huge Backstreet Boys fan, and still have 3 of their CDs.

I admit, I don't know

Here I am, 23 years old, and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. My dream is to be an author, and get married and have a family. I don't know how to get there.

So, what am I going to do about it? I'm going to pray. For those of you who know me, that statement coming from me is radical and strange. My mom would probably act shocked to read it, knowing that it came from her daughter. She's been pressing me (it seriously feels like nagging, but I'd get in trouble to call it that) to do so for oh... years. I guess when you just reach that point of desperation, and realization that you're stuck you finally get it that God's the only one who can tell you what to do.

I'm also going to (privately in my own journal) write down exactly what it is I want. And I'll go into specifics. This will be done prayerfully and carefully. Really, I've gone through most of my life just letting it happen.

That changes now.