Dear Friend,
We had a thunderstorm last night. It seemed to pass directly over the house. I was looking out of my window at one in the morning, seeing the yard lit up like daylight. Only it wasn't the warm light of day, it was the cold, bluish light you only get from a storm. Just then I heard a scratch at my bedroom door. Apparently the thunder scared Zoe.
Which, frankly, scared the **** out of me!
I am very used to the idea of a pet being frightened by a storm. We had a dog who was afraid of thunder, in addition to hot-air balloons, trash bags and fly swatters. He hid during each storm that came within earshot. I also had a hamster that once gathered up every single piece of food in her cage and carried it in her cheeks until the rain had passed. So, I'm aware that animals can be concerned about the weather.
However, I've never had a cat freak out at some thunder. I've had house cats nearly my entire life. House cats don't worry about weather. They don't worry about anything. They're cats. Their job is to be fed, pet and loved. They've never been rained on, or felt strong wind. The environment is always kept at a comfortable temperature for them. So what would they care about a storm outside their oh so comfortable house?
I'm sure you've heard of those stories with animals acting strangely before disasters? Well, so have I, and coming up to my room at one in the morning is strange behavior for this little cat. Therefore, I was half convinced that we were going to have a tornado rip through the house or something. I spent the duration of the storm sitting up, reading and trying to take my mind off of my impending doom.
Turns out, the cat is a chicken who's freaked out by loud noises. And yes, the thunder was loud. There was very little delay between the flash and the boom. But still, I had a very short night's sleep for no real reason.
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Dreaming again
I know I said I was leaving the computer, but I remembered a dream I had last night.
I was with Richard Hammond, from Top Gear. (He was still shorter than me, maybe about 5'3" like the last dream I had of him.) We were out in a very green field and he was filming some sort of segment for some show. I was walking with him, but some creature, about as big as a medium sized dog, starts to follow both of us. I glance back and it and get nervous, and try to speed up to get away, and it chases me. Richard grabs it and pulls it away from me, but it won't leave me alone. At one point it sticks it's nose in my back, close to my arm pit and Richard tells it "Keep off of my people." Then, he says to the camera "We'll just let it exhaust itself and then devour it."
The next thing I know in the dream, I'm walking through some trees and there are these small, bug like things dangling from them, on really thin strands that you can hardly see. I dodge them as well as I can, but one gets in my bangs. I turn around and see Richard, with a camera filming me walking. He beckons me back to him and takes the bug out of my hair.
Now, the weirdest part is that when I woke up, I felt this impression that the dream was God saying he was essentially protecting me from things. Sort of like I don't need to be so worked up about these problems because I have Someone to deal with them along with me.
How Richard "Hamster" Hammond works out to be God or Jesus, I have no idea. Maybe my interpretation was a reach, or I had that man on the brain. It happens. Sometimes.
I was with Richard Hammond, from Top Gear. (He was still shorter than me, maybe about 5'3" like the last dream I had of him.) We were out in a very green field and he was filming some sort of segment for some show. I was walking with him, but some creature, about as big as a medium sized dog, starts to follow both of us. I glance back and it and get nervous, and try to speed up to get away, and it chases me. Richard grabs it and pulls it away from me, but it won't leave me alone. At one point it sticks it's nose in my back, close to my arm pit and Richard tells it "Keep off of my people." Then, he says to the camera "We'll just let it exhaust itself and then devour it."
The next thing I know in the dream, I'm walking through some trees and there are these small, bug like things dangling from them, on really thin strands that you can hardly see. I dodge them as well as I can, but one gets in my bangs. I turn around and see Richard, with a camera filming me walking. He beckons me back to him and takes the bug out of my hair.
Now, the weirdest part is that when I woke up, I felt this impression that the dream was God saying he was essentially protecting me from things. Sort of like I don't need to be so worked up about these problems because I have Someone to deal with them along with me.
How Richard "Hamster" Hammond works out to be God or Jesus, I have no idea. Maybe my interpretation was a reach, or I had that man on the brain. It happens. Sometimes.
"But most of all I wish that I was someone else but me"
Dear Friend,
Don't take that title too seriously. I've been having a rough time. Friday, I had my laptop at the library for the free wi-fi (since downloading a large amount slows our home's Internet down to a crawl) and something went "boink." Yeah, first I lost all of my podcasts from itunes then when I tried to type everything was coming out backwards and when I tried to restart the blue screen of death came up, telling me it needed to check a disk or some other such. I didn't, because something seemed to go wrong with that. So when I finally got back to what I was doing, guess what! Every last thing in my itunes library was gone. Yes, GONE! My Dad and I were going through my backup files, since I'd saved them all to back up back in December when I had everything wiped out with a virus. We couldn't find them for a long time, and I ended up getting so frustrated I cried. Yeah, I was crying in the library, such fun.
Thank God, we finally found them. The not so good thing is that I need to organize them all into play lists again. I have something like 2,000 tracks to organize. I hated doing it last time, but I'll have to do it again.
I went out and bought an external hard drive, just so I wouldn't panic if this ever happened again, but as they say "Act in haste, repent at leisure." I hate the program this hard drive came with. I know I can get something else, but I'm a bit of a dunce at computers and I'm dead sick of asking my Dad to fix everything. I probably won't be online as much for a few days, just because I'm sick of working on this problem.
Hey, anyone know about this virus that's supposed to pop up on April 1st? I think if I have another problem on this laptop I may scream. I've been ready to just chuck Victoria (that's the laptop's name, remember) out of a window for the past 3 days. The only thing that stops me is the fact that I just bought a tablet that I love using, even if I am stumbling my way through it. If I have to deal with another virus I don't know what I'll do. I've run sweeps with Malware Bytes and Webroot, but I'm not sure if that would cover it.
I'm off, to pray and remind myself that this is just "stuff" and "things" and not the important parts of life.
Don't take that title too seriously. I've been having a rough time. Friday, I had my laptop at the library for the free wi-fi (since downloading a large amount slows our home's Internet down to a crawl) and something went "boink." Yeah, first I lost all of my podcasts from itunes then when I tried to type everything was coming out backwards and when I tried to restart the blue screen of death came up, telling me it needed to check a disk or some other such. I didn't, because something seemed to go wrong with that. So when I finally got back to what I was doing, guess what! Every last thing in my itunes library was gone. Yes, GONE! My Dad and I were going through my backup files, since I'd saved them all to back up back in December when I had everything wiped out with a virus. We couldn't find them for a long time, and I ended up getting so frustrated I cried. Yeah, I was crying in the library, such fun.
Thank God, we finally found them. The not so good thing is that I need to organize them all into play lists again. I have something like 2,000 tracks to organize. I hated doing it last time, but I'll have to do it again.
I went out and bought an external hard drive, just so I wouldn't panic if this ever happened again, but as they say "Act in haste, repent at leisure." I hate the program this hard drive came with. I know I can get something else, but I'm a bit of a dunce at computers and I'm dead sick of asking my Dad to fix everything. I probably won't be online as much for a few days, just because I'm sick of working on this problem.
Hey, anyone know about this virus that's supposed to pop up on April 1st? I think if I have another problem on this laptop I may scream. I've been ready to just chuck Victoria (that's the laptop's name, remember) out of a window for the past 3 days. The only thing that stops me is the fact that I just bought a tablet that I love using, even if I am stumbling my way through it. If I have to deal with another virus I don't know what I'll do. I've run sweeps with Malware Bytes and Webroot, but I'm not sure if that would cover it.
I'm off, to pray and remind myself that this is just "stuff" and "things" and not the important parts of life.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A lonely dreamer
Dear friend,
I had a Top Gear dream. Yeah, weird, I know. What happened in this dream was I found myself in a very large arena or something like that, which was beginning to be filled with people who were going to attend some function. I was there alone, and simply sat in an empty area and people watched. The place was very, very grey. It was rather industrial looking, wide and shallow. The seating was rather like very steep bleachers, but you couldn't see under the seats. As more people filter in, I look to my right and see Jeremy Clarkson, James May, Richard Hammond and the Stig. I immediately abandon my seat and walk over to them. I walk past Jeremy, because apparently even in my dreams I dislike the man, and I also bypass the Stig, though I don't know that I'd do that in real life. James May had just walked off to talk to someone else so I stopped in front of Richard Hammond. He, unfortunately, was talking to someone else, and I stood awkwardly nearby waiting for my chance. (I hate when I act in dreams the way I would in life, I hate standing nearby awkwardly, and if my brain is making up the scenario I'd prefer if I didn't do that) As soon as he saw me, Richard said hello, in a tone that was mildly surprised and annoyed at the same time. He still offered to shake my hand, though, and smiled at me. At this point in the dream I realized that I was taller than Richard Hammond. Now, I know the man is small, but I my subconscious must really think he's itty-bitty. I've been trying to find his height at a few sites today, but haven't found it yet. On with the dream, though, I don't remember my small talk with Richard, because I was so distracted by how small he was, but when we finished talking James walked back and shook my hand, too. James seemed tall, and poorly dressed, which is exactly what I expect him to be in real life.
One thing this dream made me realize is that I expect people who meet me to be rather annoyed at my presence. I go through phases like this, and they almost always result in dreams where I meet people and they don't give two figs about me. This brings me to the lonely part of my entry title. I miss making friends. I've lived here in VA long enough that I ought to have a local friend, but I don't. Maybe if I could have found a church I could have made friends, but I just haven't made that connection.
I probably shouldn't have made a deviant art account yesterday. In the mood I'm in, I'll end up turning into a "Love me, love my art, be my FRIEND!!!!" monster, but I'll refrain. *sigh*
I'll stop being so emo now.
OK I love you bye-bye!
P.S. Today's my cat Zoe's 6TH birthday, and tomorrow is Rob Paulsen's 53RD birthday. Sing the birthday song now!
I had a Top Gear dream. Yeah, weird, I know. What happened in this dream was I found myself in a very large arena or something like that, which was beginning to be filled with people who were going to attend some function. I was there alone, and simply sat in an empty area and people watched. The place was very, very grey. It was rather industrial looking, wide and shallow. The seating was rather like very steep bleachers, but you couldn't see under the seats. As more people filter in, I look to my right and see Jeremy Clarkson, James May, Richard Hammond and the Stig. I immediately abandon my seat and walk over to them. I walk past Jeremy, because apparently even in my dreams I dislike the man, and I also bypass the Stig, though I don't know that I'd do that in real life. James May had just walked off to talk to someone else so I stopped in front of Richard Hammond. He, unfortunately, was talking to someone else, and I stood awkwardly nearby waiting for my chance. (I hate when I act in dreams the way I would in life, I hate standing nearby awkwardly, and if my brain is making up the scenario I'd prefer if I didn't do that) As soon as he saw me, Richard said hello, in a tone that was mildly surprised and annoyed at the same time. He still offered to shake my hand, though, and smiled at me. At this point in the dream I realized that I was taller than Richard Hammond. Now, I know the man is small, but I my subconscious must really think he's itty-bitty. I've been trying to find his height at a few sites today, but haven't found it yet. On with the dream, though, I don't remember my small talk with Richard, because I was so distracted by how small he was, but when we finished talking James walked back and shook my hand, too. James seemed tall, and poorly dressed, which is exactly what I expect him to be in real life.
One thing this dream made me realize is that I expect people who meet me to be rather annoyed at my presence. I go through phases like this, and they almost always result in dreams where I meet people and they don't give two figs about me. This brings me to the lonely part of my entry title. I miss making friends. I've lived here in VA long enough that I ought to have a local friend, but I don't. Maybe if I could have found a church I could have made friends, but I just haven't made that connection.
I probably shouldn't have made a deviant art account yesterday. In the mood I'm in, I'll end up turning into a "Love me, love my art, be my FRIEND!!!!" monster, but I'll refrain. *sigh*
I'll stop being so emo now.
OK I love you bye-bye!
P.S. Today's my cat Zoe's 6TH birthday, and tomorrow is Rob Paulsen's 53RD birthday. Sing the birthday song now!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Issues
Dear Friend,
I've been just shy of posting something self-pitying on almost every site, forum, board I am signed onto this past week. I don't know, life just seemed so unreasonably empty. I was dealing with personal issues in my head, and then people in my life decided to tell me the problems they had with me on top of it. The fact that I had been attempting to fix that myself didn't help the fact that it was out of left field to hear about it. I have two ways of dealing with this sort of thing: get really angry or cry. As usual, I cried. I was on the verge of tears for two days.
I'm over it.
I do still have one issue I am dealing with. I have finally restored my "trust" in Victoria (which, by the way, is what I named my computer. Yeah, she has a name now) but the internet isn't being very obliging. Before I had the stressful experience of needing to restore everything on my laptop due to a virus I used to spend hours online. I now don't needlessly stress about viruses, but the internet isn't as entertaining as I used to think it was. Seriously, Facebook, blogs, DeviantArt, message boards, Youtube, and even shopping has been so dull this time around.
Yeah, I guess I'm just asking too much.
I have found a new activity. I've discovered a character I can draw. He's a cat. I can tell from these drawings what his personality is like, but I haven't named him yet. Pretty soon I'll learn how to use the scanner and put up a picture of him on here. Maybe DevArt, but I doubt that one. He has just a little ball of a tail. The funniest thing is I know what his voice sounds like. Yeah, cats don't talk, but he's a cartoon cat. In a move that's quite typical of me, he sounds like a Rob Paulsen voice. I, however, can't think of a character Rob has done in this voice that I'm thinking of. Hmm, the research would involve lots of cartoon watching, poor me. I was being sarcastic, if you couldn't tell. Maybe I'll do a comic strip involving him in my spare time. Then again, maybe one day I'll forget all about him. I wonder if I should call him Max. Hmm, no that's not quite him.
I've been just shy of posting something self-pitying on almost every site, forum, board I am signed onto this past week. I don't know, life just seemed so unreasonably empty. I was dealing with personal issues in my head, and then people in my life decided to tell me the problems they had with me on top of it. The fact that I had been attempting to fix that myself didn't help the fact that it was out of left field to hear about it. I have two ways of dealing with this sort of thing: get really angry or cry. As usual, I cried. I was on the verge of tears for two days.
I'm over it.
I do still have one issue I am dealing with. I have finally restored my "trust" in Victoria (which, by the way, is what I named my computer. Yeah, she has a name now) but the internet isn't being very obliging. Before I had the stressful experience of needing to restore everything on my laptop due to a virus I used to spend hours online. I now don't needlessly stress about viruses, but the internet isn't as entertaining as I used to think it was. Seriously, Facebook, blogs, DeviantArt, message boards, Youtube, and even shopping has been so dull this time around.
Yeah, I guess I'm just asking too much.
I have found a new activity. I've discovered a character I can draw. He's a cat. I can tell from these drawings what his personality is like, but I haven't named him yet. Pretty soon I'll learn how to use the scanner and put up a picture of him on here. Maybe DevArt, but I doubt that one. He has just a little ball of a tail. The funniest thing is I know what his voice sounds like. Yeah, cats don't talk, but he's a cartoon cat. In a move that's quite typical of me, he sounds like a Rob Paulsen voice. I, however, can't think of a character Rob has done in this voice that I'm thinking of. Hmm, the research would involve lots of cartoon watching, poor me. I was being sarcastic, if you couldn't tell. Maybe I'll do a comic strip involving him in my spare time. Then again, maybe one day I'll forget all about him. I wonder if I should call him Max. Hmm, no that's not quite him.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I don't obsess, I think intensely
Dear Friend,
Depending on your view of my... how shall I phrase it?... appreciation of a certain actor named Rob Paulsen my next statement could be awesome or sad. I found a Rob Paulsen fan forum! Yay, right? Hey, look at it this way, next time I talk to you I may already have worked the Rob talk out of my system.
Anyway, yeah, I found it through a new friend who had a Rob video on YouTube. I can't tell yet if this is increasing my mania or helping to burn some of my "hobby energy." (Yes, I call it hobby energy, because it's entirely separate from my "real life energy.")
To continue on this subject, I finally saw Three Musketeers with Mickey, Donald and Goofy, where Rob was the Troubadour Turtle. I found it all adorable. I love turtles (in cartoon form, anyway) I love cartoons adding lyrics to well known classic songs, I love goofy, phony french accents, and I love Rob's singing. OK, that's all the things I loved about Rob's character, but I enjoyed the story, too. It is a fairly recent Disney cartoon, but it was still cute. You know, as much as I enjoy Tress McNeile ( I fear I forgot how to spell her name, bad me, I'm a bad fan) I don't like her as Daisy Duck.
LOST is coming back, and I'm looking forward to it. I wasn't this enthusiastic for the 4Th season, since the 3rd season had kind of left me cold, but 4 blew me away. I hope that the show continues in it's awesome-ness like it did last year. I just really hope that Daniel can get back to the island, since being stranded in the middle of the ocean in a raft can't be fun, and I want to see him with Charlotte again. I am spoiler-free, so I don't have a clue what's coming up. In fact, I haven't read any of the messages on the LOST mailing list I belong to for the past month.
Remember when I wrote about my Computer's death? Apparently, I haven't been the only person to suffer from this particular virus/trojan garbage. I also am not the first to "catch" it from Deviant Art. I need, desperately, to figure out what sort of Virus protection to use. I think that this time I have it under control, but I wish I could get a professional to look at my laptop. If you've got a way to contact me, and you know any good programs, feel free to advise. I'll listen.
Depending on your view of my... how shall I phrase it?... appreciation of a certain actor named Rob Paulsen my next statement could be awesome or sad. I found a Rob Paulsen fan forum! Yay, right? Hey, look at it this way, next time I talk to you I may already have worked the Rob talk out of my system.
Anyway, yeah, I found it through a new friend who had a Rob video on YouTube. I can't tell yet if this is increasing my mania or helping to burn some of my "hobby energy." (Yes, I call it hobby energy, because it's entirely separate from my "real life energy.")
To continue on this subject, I finally saw Three Musketeers with Mickey, Donald and Goofy, where Rob was the Troubadour Turtle. I found it all adorable. I love turtles (in cartoon form, anyway) I love cartoons adding lyrics to well known classic songs, I love goofy, phony french accents, and I love Rob's singing. OK, that's all the things I loved about Rob's character, but I enjoyed the story, too. It is a fairly recent Disney cartoon, but it was still cute. You know, as much as I enjoy Tress McNeile ( I fear I forgot how to spell her name, bad me, I'm a bad fan) I don't like her as Daisy Duck.
LOST is coming back, and I'm looking forward to it. I wasn't this enthusiastic for the 4Th season, since the 3rd season had kind of left me cold, but 4 blew me away. I hope that the show continues in it's awesome-ness like it did last year. I just really hope that Daniel can get back to the island, since being stranded in the middle of the ocean in a raft can't be fun, and I want to see him with Charlotte again. I am spoiler-free, so I don't have a clue what's coming up. In fact, I haven't read any of the messages on the LOST mailing list I belong to for the past month.
Remember when I wrote about my Computer's death? Apparently, I haven't been the only person to suffer from this particular virus/trojan garbage. I also am not the first to "catch" it from Deviant Art. I need, desperately, to figure out what sort of Virus protection to use. I think that this time I have it under control, but I wish I could get a professional to look at my laptop. If you've got a way to contact me, and you know any good programs, feel free to advise. I'll listen.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Well, that was painful
Dear Friend,
So, on Nov. 30th something evil entered my laptop and rendered it essentially useless. I didn't get a chance to get it up and running again until today. I lost most of what I had on here, but at least was able to save my pictures. I still needed to load all the programs again, and as yet have no itunes on here.
Being without a time-waster for 4 days was pretty hard on me, but I think due mostly to the fact that it wasn't my fault. Something invaded my computer. I felt attacked and angry. I was really upset.
I'm deeply upset that the site I was on when it happened was one of my favorite to go to. I'd been going to DeviantArt for over a month, and now I'm afraid to go back. I have no idea why this happened, but if that site's to blame I never want it to have another chance. But, oh how I'll miss the art, especially certain artists.
Oh well, life goes on. And it's like I got a new laptop; it's not like some time away from the internet hurt me, anyway.
So, on Nov. 30th something evil entered my laptop and rendered it essentially useless. I didn't get a chance to get it up and running again until today. I lost most of what I had on here, but at least was able to save my pictures. I still needed to load all the programs again, and as yet have no itunes on here.
Being without a time-waster for 4 days was pretty hard on me, but I think due mostly to the fact that it wasn't my fault. Something invaded my computer. I felt attacked and angry. I was really upset.
I'm deeply upset that the site I was on when it happened was one of my favorite to go to. I'd been going to DeviantArt for over a month, and now I'm afraid to go back. I have no idea why this happened, but if that site's to blame I never want it to have another chance. But, oh how I'll miss the art, especially certain artists.
Oh well, life goes on. And it's like I got a new laptop; it's not like some time away from the internet hurt me, anyway.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Catching up
Dear Friend,
How've you been the last few days? I've been busy, but it's been the good sort of busy that leads up to a desired end. A very desired end. I can't wait for the end, really. This past Friday was the K3 Celebration at school, and now there are no more classes with the little dears. I'm half relieved and half sad to think that I won't have a hand in molding their young minds anymore. I won't miss the tantrums, the tattling, the yelling, or the crying. I will miss the smiles and laughs and discoveries that mark that age as well. I'll miss the hugs and "Hello Ms. S" and random stories they tell you about themselves. I didn't cry at the goodbyes, and almost feel like an unfeeling jerk because of it. I just don't think I'm cut out for being this sort of teacher, so I don't want to prolong the time.
Two more weeks at the school, I suppose. Then life finally moves on again.
In entertainment news... I'm becoming obsessed with the Itunes commercial for the exclusive song Viva la Vida by Coldplay. If I hear it come on TV I stop what I'm doing watch the commercial. I haven't decided if I'll buy it. I've never listened to Coldplay before. What? Don't look at me like that.
So, how about LOST. So glad that Des and Penny reunited. So sad that Dan and Charlotte said goodbye. Surprised to find that I prefer Kate with Sawyer to Kate and Jack. Dismayed to discover that most of my concern for this show revolves around the relationships. Ha, maybe not. I'm really wishing the next season was coming really, really soon so I can find out what happens to everyone. I wasn't shocked or awed by who was in the coffin. I almost didn't even care. I want to know what's up with Claire. I also want to know what happens to the people in the boat, do they move with the island or are they stranded in the middle of nowhere on the ocean? Otherwise, the finale did well with tying up loose ends of this season. BTW, Penny can't die. I'd cry for days. Or not, but I wouldn't be happy.
Watched Cranford (DVR'ed from PBS) today. It felt like it went on forever and wasn't about anything in particular. It was good, and sweet, but slightly boring. It was like real life, a bunch of small happenings to a large group of people. I won't buy it, or watch it again soon. I like Gaskell, usually, though I haven't read any of her books. Wives and Daughters was about Molly Gibson, North and South was about Margaret Hale and John Thornton, but Cranford was about everybody.
I guess that's it friend,
See you next time.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
An apple for the teacher, Pineapple that is!
Dear friend,
I'm not sure exactly which day it is, but some day this week is Teacher Appreciation Day. The school I work at has expanded it to a week. Each day of the week has a different theme for suggested gifts. Today was fruit/snack day. I was given a form last week to fill out with my favorite stuff. I wrote down pineapple partly as a joke. I'm not sure I really love pineapple, I do know I like it OK, but they make me smile, all the time. So, it's pretty cool that I got one, and now I'll have to decide what to do with it. If you have any suggestions, tell me, 'k?
Otherwise, life kinda sucks at the moment. I have to be at work two weeks longer than I thought I did, we have no real plans for the "graduation" we're supposed to do for our students, the teacher I work with is driving me nuts, we got a new student who's trouble and will be getting another tomorrow, and I've been sick since Saturday, I haven't slept through the night for the last two nights, I can't talk because I lost my voice yesterday, and I don't know what I'm going to do for a job or money after this school year. Oh, and did I mention the mouse in the hallway in front of our classroom today? I kind of wish I had made a bigger deal of it and made the visiting prospective parents who were pretty much in each of the neighboring rooms notice it. Yeah, I hate this school that much. I didn't draw attention to it, though. I think it was about to die anyway. It's disturbing to think that I work in a place that has (apparently) vermin. I'd never send my child to this school, it just sucks.
Ahh, that rants done. It feels good to get that off my chest.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Pixar: Have I missed my calling?
Dear Friend,
Well, friend, I have quite decidedly made up my mind that I will not be returning to this school next school year. I am not quite sure why I was there this year, I just know that's where I feel God led me, and now I just have to trust him to lead me again next year.
I've felt drawn to studying or pursuing art as a career. I have no concrete plans yet, but I'm considering it. One particular reason, I suppose, is that I wish I'd studied animation simply to work at Pixar.
I bought "To Infinity and Beyond: The story of Pixar" about a month ago and recently read through it. I knew I liked this company before, but I think I adore it now. I didn't know about Ed Catmull before, and didn't know much about John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton or even Brad Bird before I read this book. I didn't know very much about the difficulties of the medium or even how an actual hand-drawn animation background could help in computer animation.
This book is so informative that even trying to sum up the specific things I've learned would take far too long, and might be tedious to those who aren't rabid fans like me. Personally, I found the story of the start of this studio and even the people who work there to be inspirational. I love that these people knew what they wanted to do and just pursued it. Despite discouragement they persevered.
Talent isn't enough, determination and inspiration are requirements.
If only I'd had some focus, maybe I'd be living in California working at the coolest company I've ever seen.
Well, I'm not doing that. I'm at yet another time of change and uncertainty. I guess there are a lot of those in life, huh? Come on new bend in the road!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
The light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train
Everyone gets stressed. "Anyone who tells you differently is selling something." OK, I'll try not to quote Princess Bride anymore. I think I butchered that quote anyway.
Anyway, everybody gets stressed. The only difference I see for anyone is how they handle it. I don't think I'm too great at handling hard times. "And I just pray that problems go away if they're ignored." OK, I'll try not to quote Relient K songs either.
Things are good right now. I know that I'm getting Internet at my house soon, I don't know the date but I know it's coming. It's a bright sunny, but cool, day that makes everything seem happy, and I just caught sight of an infant in a funny hat and smiley face shirt. Babies make me smile. I have e-mails to answer, so I feel missed and loved. Really I'm not too hard to please.
Then again, I'm not too hard to hurt either.
I like myself that way.
Friday, March 30, 2007
In the middle
I'm going through another of those times during which my life is just short of being awful. None of my problems are big enough to be "important" but nothing is right. All around me things seem so dissatisfactory and they all need just one thing to go horribly, horribly wrong. Then again, just one thing could go delightfully right. You never know which way things will turn, and the optimist in me believes that things will go wonderfully. When the pessimist in me gets a chance to speak (when she wiggles out of her gag, you know) she tells me life is on the verge of being over. That's when I hit her over the head with a happy club, tie her up and throw her in the closet again, but that little seed of doubt lingers. I hate little seeds of doubt.
At least these sorts of mood let me get the benefit of my non-happy music. I don't have much, but it's worthwhile to listen to in these "troubled times".
I wonder if I've always been so over dramatic.
In other news; two disgusting creepy crawlies have been in my bed at two different times. The first was an ugly, big beetle that greeted me first thing one morning. It was right in front of my face. Yuck.
The second was a spider that fell onto my arm at 2:30 am. It was small, black, and decidedly fast. Eww.
Surprisingly, I dealt with the spider much more easily than the beetle. After the beetle I was afraid to go into my room for the rest of the day. After the spider, I killed it, cleaned it up and went right back into my bed. I wasn't really tired, despite the late hour, but felt I should be sleeping anyway. Weird me.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
I admit, I don't know
Here I am, 23 years old, and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. My dream is to be an author, and get married and have a family. I don't know how to get there.
So, what am I going to do about it? I'm going to pray. For those of you who know me, that statement coming from me is radical and strange. My mom would probably act shocked to read it, knowing that it came from her daughter. She's been pressing me (it seriously feels like nagging, but I'd get in trouble to call it that) to do so for oh... years. I guess when you just reach that point of desperation, and realization that you're stuck you finally get it that God's the only one who can tell you what to do.
I'm also going to (privately in my own journal) write down exactly what it is I want. And I'll go into specifics. This will be done prayerfully and carefully. Really, I've gone through most of my life just letting it happen.
That changes now.
So, what am I going to do about it? I'm going to pray. For those of you who know me, that statement coming from me is radical and strange. My mom would probably act shocked to read it, knowing that it came from her daughter. She's been pressing me (it seriously feels like nagging, but I'd get in trouble to call it that) to do so for oh... years. I guess when you just reach that point of desperation, and realization that you're stuck you finally get it that God's the only one who can tell you what to do.
I'm also going to (privately in my own journal) write down exactly what it is I want. And I'll go into specifics. This will be done prayerfully and carefully. Really, I've gone through most of my life just letting it happen.
That changes now.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
When I grow up, I want to be Becca Barlow
Drop what you are doing right this minute, run to Yahoo Music and watch the Barlow Girl "Never Alone" video. NOW, I tell you! Why are you still reading this? Go!
There, now that you've done that, tell me that Becca Barlow, the guitarist, isn't cool. You can't, can you?
Actually, I'm pretty near obsessed with BarlowGirl right now. I love, love, love their music. However, if you had told me that I would love them the first time I heard their first CD, I'd have called you insane. I thought their music was cheesy, nearing vague (for Christian music) and just too "rock" for me. I have since bought their second CD.
The story behind me getting Another Journal Entry was this: I was having a rough time, emotionally. My mom and I had just had a blow-up, I was nervous about being home alone for the first time in my life, and I needed something to build me up. I saw "Let Go" as a free download on Itunes, and got it, but it didn't impress me. It did, however, let me know that they had a new CD out, though. While researching this CD, I came across a page that had "I Need You To Love Me" on it. The whole song. It struck a chord with me so strongly that I didn't hesitate to buy the entire album. I wanted it so badly, that I didn't even wait to go to a store to get the real thing, I downloaded it from Itunes (a practice usually reserved for single good songs from bad albums). I listened to it at least three times before I went to bed, and I go to bed at 10:00 and had downloaded the album at 9:30.
Actually, since then, "I Need You To Love Me" hasn't stayed up so well in my opinion. Yes, I still like it, but it isn't "it" anymore, if that makes any sense. Shardae could tell you that the song that I now run to when I need support and can't go and read my Bible for 2 hours or so is "Psalm 73 - My God's Enough". It was also the first time I heard "No One Like You", and since I'm not a big David Crowder fan, that's my favorite version, and that gives me energy like you wouldn't believe.
Musically, I find BarlowGirl the most comforting and uplifting thing I can listen to. Thanks to the little miracles that are ipod playlists, I can listen to "BarlowGirl" and "Another Journal Entry" all mixed up together, and get the benefit of even their first CD. These two CDs have helped me through a lot of drama since October, and for that I reccomend them to anyone who might like them. (I wouldn't reccomend them to people who think rock music is of the devil. Those people I just sort of stare at, actually... I kid, I kid!)
Actually, the funny thing is, they've given me a bit of a nudge to really try learning guitar. Why? Because Becca is so cool! No, really if any one of the girls can take the blame for that it's Lauren, who never took drum lessons. Yeah, they all play piano, but come on, just picking up the drums!!! Unreal in my book. Actually, anyone who teaches themselves to play any instrument well is amazing to me. I've not been able to do it. (I should be practicing, but instead, I'm typing this up.)
Besides all that, they are huge support in my stand on not dating. When you seriously feel like you're the only person not dating someone, it's good to be able to pop in "Average Girl" and be reminded that you're not alone. There are some other nuts out there with what seems like more faith than sense. (Acutally, I find anyone who doesn't date, but instead does "courtship" [which is a vague and varied term, but I digress] interesting and inspirational. It's hard on me, I know.)
Add to all this, the song "On My Own" which I'm adopting as my theme song. "This pattern seems to be the story of my life/ I should have learned this lesson by the thousandth time" Yeah, that's me.
My plan is to write out their lyrics on a bag for my stuff. Not a purse, a bag, for the non-pursy "essentials" like my Bibles, (I have 2 on me at all times.) my journal, my sketch book, any book I'm reading (if it's small enough, this bag doesn't even exists yet and it's getting heavy) and other "ooh, I need that, too" stuff. I don't know how long that will take me to make, but it's gonna be cool.
Till next I write!
There, now that you've done that, tell me that Becca Barlow, the guitarist, isn't cool. You can't, can you?
Actually, I'm pretty near obsessed with BarlowGirl right now. I love, love, love their music. However, if you had told me that I would love them the first time I heard their first CD, I'd have called you insane. I thought their music was cheesy, nearing vague (for Christian music) and just too "rock" for me. I have since bought their second CD.
The story behind me getting Another Journal Entry was this: I was having a rough time, emotionally. My mom and I had just had a blow-up, I was nervous about being home alone for the first time in my life, and I needed something to build me up. I saw "Let Go" as a free download on Itunes, and got it, but it didn't impress me. It did, however, let me know that they had a new CD out, though. While researching this CD, I came across a page that had "I Need You To Love Me" on it. The whole song. It struck a chord with me so strongly that I didn't hesitate to buy the entire album. I wanted it so badly, that I didn't even wait to go to a store to get the real thing, I downloaded it from Itunes (a practice usually reserved for single good songs from bad albums). I listened to it at least three times before I went to bed, and I go to bed at 10:00 and had downloaded the album at 9:30.
Actually, since then, "I Need You To Love Me" hasn't stayed up so well in my opinion. Yes, I still like it, but it isn't "it" anymore, if that makes any sense. Shardae could tell you that the song that I now run to when I need support and can't go and read my Bible for 2 hours or so is "Psalm 73 - My God's Enough". It was also the first time I heard "No One Like You", and since I'm not a big David Crowder fan, that's my favorite version, and that gives me energy like you wouldn't believe.
Musically, I find BarlowGirl the most comforting and uplifting thing I can listen to. Thanks to the little miracles that are ipod playlists, I can listen to "BarlowGirl" and "Another Journal Entry" all mixed up together, and get the benefit of even their first CD. These two CDs have helped me through a lot of drama since October, and for that I reccomend them to anyone who might like them. (I wouldn't reccomend them to people who think rock music is of the devil. Those people I just sort of stare at, actually... I kid, I kid!)
Actually, the funny thing is, they've given me a bit of a nudge to really try learning guitar. Why? Because Becca is so cool! No, really if any one of the girls can take the blame for that it's Lauren, who never took drum lessons. Yeah, they all play piano, but come on, just picking up the drums!!! Unreal in my book. Actually, anyone who teaches themselves to play any instrument well is amazing to me. I've not been able to do it. (I should be practicing, but instead, I'm typing this up.)
Besides all that, they are huge support in my stand on not dating. When you seriously feel like you're the only person not dating someone, it's good to be able to pop in "Average Girl" and be reminded that you're not alone. There are some other nuts out there with what seems like more faith than sense. (Acutally, I find anyone who doesn't date, but instead does "courtship" [which is a vague and varied term, but I digress] interesting and inspirational. It's hard on me, I know.)
Add to all this, the song "On My Own" which I'm adopting as my theme song. "This pattern seems to be the story of my life/ I should have learned this lesson by the thousandth time" Yeah, that's me.
My plan is to write out their lyrics on a bag for my stuff. Not a purse, a bag, for the non-pursy "essentials" like my Bibles, (I have 2 on me at all times.) my journal, my sketch book, any book I'm reading (if it's small enough, this bag doesn't even exists yet and it's getting heavy) and other "ooh, I need that, too" stuff. I don't know how long that will take me to make, but it's gonna be cool.
Till next I write!
Friday, August 05, 2005
It's been too long
I am now full-time at my job. That's caused more stress than it should have, but I won't bore all you people with all the drama. *audience (of one) applauds* Gee, thanks...
Anyway, I love being the person who duplicates CDs, except for the inevitable times when all there is to do is wait. Wait for CDs to print, wait for CDs to burn, wait, wait, wait. And hope that your boss doesn't wander past the door, since just standing around (or sitting as I sometimes do) doesn't make it look like you have much use there. But when you actually do stuff, it's cool to be the "CD duplicator lady" :-)
Oh, this song on my internet radio makes me sad. "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5. I think it only makes me sad because it's the first song I heard after our dog was put down. That memory sucks. I really feel sorry for a co-worker of mine, who lost 2 dogs in as many weeks. After the 1st one died, the other was so depressed that it died too. That so sucks.
I so want to hug whoever came up with TiVo and other such devices, such as our DVR. Why? It makes it possible for me to again watch Radio Free Roscoe. At my own convenience, yet! Everyday, there it is, a new-to-me RFR just waiting to be viewed. And eventually burned to DVD. My infatuation with RFR is pretty deep right now. I don't really know why. I can guess, though, probably the guys. There is just something so entertaining about TV high school guys stumble through their lives. It isn't so funny for TV high school girls, they tend to be too whiny. But Ray/Pronto, Robbie/Question Mark and Travis/Smog are just "cuties". (No, not that way! Ok, maybe Travis... Maybe)
My eyes are drooping and itchy, and it's only 9:30. I thought I would adjust to waking at 6 am by now...
Hey, guess what! They put Faery Tale Theatre on DVD! Anyone else remember that show? Shelley Duvall and various celebrities doing fairy tales! My favorite has to be The Three Little Pigs. Watching it recently explained why I've always liked Billy Crystal, I liked him when I was little and saw him playing a pig in colorful clothes, building his own brick house and playing the oboe. Years and years later, I still like him, though I'd forgotten why. Funny, huh? Jeff Goldblum was hilarious as the Wolf, too. Of course, now that I'm older and watching this series, it's got a lot more adult humor than I ever suspected when I was a kiddie and watching. Weird how stuff goes over children's heads, and they never knew it was there to begin with.
Anyway...
Till next I write
Anyway, I love being the person who duplicates CDs, except for the inevitable times when all there is to do is wait. Wait for CDs to print, wait for CDs to burn, wait, wait, wait. And hope that your boss doesn't wander past the door, since just standing around (or sitting as I sometimes do) doesn't make it look like you have much use there. But when you actually do stuff, it's cool to be the "CD duplicator lady" :-)
Oh, this song on my internet radio makes me sad. "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5. I think it only makes me sad because it's the first song I heard after our dog was put down. That memory sucks. I really feel sorry for a co-worker of mine, who lost 2 dogs in as many weeks. After the 1st one died, the other was so depressed that it died too. That so sucks.
I so want to hug whoever came up with TiVo and other such devices, such as our DVR. Why? It makes it possible for me to again watch Radio Free Roscoe. At my own convenience, yet! Everyday, there it is, a new-to-me RFR just waiting to be viewed. And eventually burned to DVD. My infatuation with RFR is pretty deep right now. I don't really know why. I can guess, though, probably the guys. There is just something so entertaining about TV high school guys stumble through their lives. It isn't so funny for TV high school girls, they tend to be too whiny. But Ray/Pronto, Robbie/Question Mark and Travis/Smog are just "cuties". (No, not that way! Ok, maybe Travis... Maybe)
My eyes are drooping and itchy, and it's only 9:30. I thought I would adjust to waking at 6 am by now...
Hey, guess what! They put Faery Tale Theatre on DVD! Anyone else remember that show? Shelley Duvall and various celebrities doing fairy tales! My favorite has to be The Three Little Pigs. Watching it recently explained why I've always liked Billy Crystal, I liked him when I was little and saw him playing a pig in colorful clothes, building his own brick house and playing the oboe. Years and years later, I still like him, though I'd forgotten why. Funny, huh? Jeff Goldblum was hilarious as the Wolf, too. Of course, now that I'm older and watching this series, it's got a lot more adult humor than I ever suspected when I was a kiddie and watching. Weird how stuff goes over children's heads, and they never knew it was there to begin with.
Anyway...
Till next I write
Thursday, January 20, 2005
I'm tired
I don't know how they do it. I don't know how people work full time jobs, and still have a social life. I've been working full days for the last few weeks, and I've only done "fun" thing about 3 times in those weeks, and really I'm exhausted. I'm so thankful that I only have to work the afternoon tomorrow. Of course, that all gets shattered when I realize that I have to work 8 hours on Saturday. That's just wrong! I hate doing work on weekends. I will make the exception for housework, but homework and job work are just not meant for Saturdays or Sunday. But that's just my view of it.
Recently discovered the purpose of the profiles and listing favorites. Found a few people who share my interests, including people who list Jane of Lantern Hill as a favorite book. I'm not alone!!! Yayness!
So glad I invited a friend to the young adults Bible study this week. It was entirely a social situation, and if he hadn't been there, I'd have sat, uncomfortable silent the entire time. As it was, I got to be included some in the conversation. I still need to see Napoleon Dynamite as it seems I'm the only person not to have ever seen it (on earth or in that group, I'm not sure).
Wish I could see that "Chase Me" short somewhere other than the boring Mystery of the Batwoman DVD. That short rocks.
Recently discovered the purpose of the profiles and listing favorites. Found a few people who share my interests, including people who list Jane of Lantern Hill as a favorite book. I'm not alone!!! Yayness!
So glad I invited a friend to the young adults Bible study this week. It was entirely a social situation, and if he hadn't been there, I'd have sat, uncomfortable silent the entire time. As it was, I got to be included some in the conversation. I still need to see Napoleon Dynamite as it seems I'm the only person not to have ever seen it (on earth or in that group, I'm not sure).
Wish I could see that "Chase Me" short somewhere other than the boring Mystery of the Batwoman DVD. That short rocks.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Being sick really sucks
Being sick especially sucks when you're supposed to go into work early and get a big project done before your friday deadline. If I hadn't been awake at 2 am throwing up, and still up (not up again, but still up) at 6 am I would have been at work.
I'm such a baby, too. I cried that I couldn't go to work today. Twice. I wasn't crying that I was in extreme pain and discomfort, I was crying that I couldn't assemble and pack products for a conference.
I slept most of the day, since I didn't get sleep last night, obviously. I watched "Lost" and am a little confused about it, but it's too interesting a show to give up on. And regarding the preview, did anyone really think Charlie would just give up the drugs since he'd gotten his guitar? Someone's love for music can be really strong, but more than their dependence on drugs? Come on! (Oh, and I somehow knew she could speak English as soon as the episode started. I never thought of it before, but as soon as I saw her at the beginning of the episode, I knew.)
Currently listening to some different Christian music. Was listening to clips from Jeremy Camp's upcoming CD (call me obsessed if you like, I already know it.) Now listening to some group called Seven Places. Never heard of them before, don't know if I like them, and found out that my library doesn't have anything with them on it. Don't know how I'll hear anything of them, since I'm too cheap to buy CDs when I haven't heard at least 5 songs that I like at least three of off a single CD.
Am I trying to fit in with a crowd again? I'm listening to "rock Christian" music. Know what I listen to in secular? Jazz stuff. Or whatever you call Michael Buble' and Peter Cincotti. Or sometimes pop, not much, but some. Am I trying to fit someone else's mold again? That's what I was trying to do when I listened to Gospel music. Sure, it's good music, but I don't listen to it all that much. I don't know, I think I'm some bizarre chameleon or something.
Whatever, I'm just gonna cruise I tunes for awhile. Have some cash to spend .99 at a time.
On a side note, I'm glad I'm not the only person who didn't see a certain event coming, at all. (I'd never have paired those two, but hey, I'm pretty dense about relationship stuff anyway.)
Till next I write.
I'm such a baby, too. I cried that I couldn't go to work today. Twice. I wasn't crying that I was in extreme pain and discomfort, I was crying that I couldn't assemble and pack products for a conference.
I slept most of the day, since I didn't get sleep last night, obviously. I watched "Lost" and am a little confused about it, but it's too interesting a show to give up on. And regarding the preview, did anyone really think Charlie would just give up the drugs since he'd gotten his guitar? Someone's love for music can be really strong, but more than their dependence on drugs? Come on! (Oh, and I somehow knew she could speak English as soon as the episode started. I never thought of it before, but as soon as I saw her at the beginning of the episode, I knew.)
Currently listening to some different Christian music. Was listening to clips from Jeremy Camp's upcoming CD (call me obsessed if you like, I already know it.) Now listening to some group called Seven Places. Never heard of them before, don't know if I like them, and found out that my library doesn't have anything with them on it. Don't know how I'll hear anything of them, since I'm too cheap to buy CDs when I haven't heard at least 5 songs that I like at least three of off a single CD.
Am I trying to fit in with a crowd again? I'm listening to "rock Christian" music. Know what I listen to in secular? Jazz stuff. Or whatever you call Michael Buble' and Peter Cincotti. Or sometimes pop, not much, but some. Am I trying to fit someone else's mold again? That's what I was trying to do when I listened to Gospel music. Sure, it's good music, but I don't listen to it all that much. I don't know, I think I'm some bizarre chameleon or something.
Whatever, I'm just gonna cruise I tunes for awhile. Have some cash to spend .99 at a time.
On a side note, I'm glad I'm not the only person who didn't see a certain event coming, at all. (I'd never have paired those two, but hey, I'm pretty dense about relationship stuff anyway.)
Till next I write.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
I can't read that stuff
I hate "net speak" or whatever they call that stuff that people type that isn't realy words. I can take it in small doses, like "cuz" or LOL, but when it's the whole message I can't stand it. I personally don't see why they can't put out the miniscule effort of typing out real words. It seems to me that it takes more effort to come up with that stuff. I don't get it.
I suppose I'm a bit of a grammar freak. Not much of one, since I'm quite sure that I make some mistakes pretty often. Mistakes that would make a real grammar nut scream. I do, however, correct people on TV when they use "myself" in all the wrong places. That and when they use "I" when they should say "Me". I think last year at college, one of the speakers made such a mistake and I wrote in code all over my note page how he was wrong. I'm so glad my friend taught me that code, I'll probably use it for the rest of my life. It might come in handy, my mom has been using a code on her Christmas lists for as long as I can remember. That way we don't know what she's bought for us. I may do the same when I have kids.
Speaking of kids, my friends joke that my children will have larger vocabularies than all their friends. I admit, I do use larger than necessary words at times. I've actually stopped a little since I met them. Since I was a hopeless, friendless geek before I met them, I spent my time reading, and when you do that you pick up words that are slightly cumbersome for everyday use. But I do intend on having children who speak well. I think I'm a snob.
Found out a friend of mine likes Gamecube. I've got to get him to play some games with some other friends of mine. We three need another opponent at Smash Bros. and I think he'll fill in nicely. If only all our schedules work out.
But it won't happen today. Today is my recharge day. I've been going non-stop for a month. I'm not doing a dang thing today. All I'm doing this weekend is church tomorrow morning. I think I'm obsessed with our church. I hate missing sundays. I used to hate church. Really hate it. But then I went to Bible college (that was a shock for me, I'm not the "Bible College Type") and found the church we go to now. I really like it.
Wow, did I ever get off topic. From complaining about net speak to saying how much I love my church. Weird me...
Till next I write!
I suppose I'm a bit of a grammar freak. Not much of one, since I'm quite sure that I make some mistakes pretty often. Mistakes that would make a real grammar nut scream. I do, however, correct people on TV when they use "myself" in all the wrong places. That and when they use "I" when they should say "Me". I think last year at college, one of the speakers made such a mistake and I wrote in code all over my note page how he was wrong. I'm so glad my friend taught me that code, I'll probably use it for the rest of my life. It might come in handy, my mom has been using a code on her Christmas lists for as long as I can remember. That way we don't know what she's bought for us. I may do the same when I have kids.
Speaking of kids, my friends joke that my children will have larger vocabularies than all their friends. I admit, I do use larger than necessary words at times. I've actually stopped a little since I met them. Since I was a hopeless, friendless geek before I met them, I spent my time reading, and when you do that you pick up words that are slightly cumbersome for everyday use. But I do intend on having children who speak well. I think I'm a snob.
Found out a friend of mine likes Gamecube. I've got to get him to play some games with some other friends of mine. We three need another opponent at Smash Bros. and I think he'll fill in nicely. If only all our schedules work out.
But it won't happen today. Today is my recharge day. I've been going non-stop for a month. I'm not doing a dang thing today. All I'm doing this weekend is church tomorrow morning. I think I'm obsessed with our church. I hate missing sundays. I used to hate church. Really hate it. But then I went to Bible college (that was a shock for me, I'm not the "Bible College Type") and found the church we go to now. I really like it.
Wow, did I ever get off topic. From complaining about net speak to saying how much I love my church. Weird me...
Till next I write!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)