New Year Goals (Not Resolutions)

I just want to do these things this coming year, I won't be disappointed or feel like a failure if I don't do them. These 30 items just seem like stuff I'd like to see happen in 2007.

1. Grow closer to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
2. Finish reading the Bible through for the 3rd time, and possibly start the 4th
3. Return to regular piano practice (when I get my piano back)
4. Return to regular guitar practice (ditto)
5. Start sewing again
6. Learn Spanish
7. Learn Italian
8. Learn to really crochet
9. Learn to play bass guitar
10. Either learn to play the drums or get rid of my insanely sudden desire to play them
11. Learn cat grooming (maybe dogs, too)
12. Finger train Robbie
13. Make Friends
14. Finish all my season set DVDs
15. Learn to cook
16. Read at least one more book by Charles Dickens
17. Read at least one non-fiction book for the year
18. Watch at least three "classic" movies
19. Go to either New York City or Montreal
20. Finish a knitting project
21. "Recon" some clothes or shoes
22. Redecorate my room in colors other than blue, green or purple
23. Join at least one musician's "fan club"
24. Get a part time job and/or go back to school
25. Organize my music
26. Take a cake decorating (or other cooking stuff) class
27. “Downsize” my purse
28. Get the courage to sing in public (so that I’m heard)
29. Get the courage to dance in public
30. Memorize at least 4 Psalms, and 5 New Testament verses

I've been reading the blogs of various singer/songwriters that I like. I've come to the conclusion that I, unfortunately, will never be that interesting. I guess that's how they're able to be good songwriters, they have these thoughts that are worth hearing. More comes to them in one second of random thought than I would think of in an entire day of reflection.
That is something that I've envied in some of my friends, they're random and funny. I can think of some funny things that are related to something I've seen or heard sometimes, but I can't be weird and random for no good reason. You may think that's a weird thing to envy, but I don't. Sure, some people want to have a quick wit that would work for scathing comebacks to insults (sadly, it still doesn't always work that way. I've found the only way to quickly think of a comeback is if you don't care what they just said to you. If you care, the hurt of the insult slows your reaction time.) but I just want to be plain odd sometimes.
For example, On Radio Free Roscoe (golly, but I miss that show) my favorite character was Parker. She was just weird. I suppose the polite term for it would be "quirky". Sure, she's a tv character and her lines were scripted, but still I wanna be like her. In reality, I'm more like the drummer from "No Man's Land" (I think her name was Megan, but I'm not sure) she barely spoke. I think she was only around because the show wanted a drummer for the band, Lily played guitar, Parker played bass, so they just added someone unimportant to play drums. Oh well.
Off topic, but I find drummers to be "interesting" people. I feel like usually once you meet a drummer, you know it. They're usual incessant "drumming" with their fingers or hands is a good tip off. I want to play drums, but I'm not that fidgety usually.

How did this post go from writing about being and interesting writer to being a drummer? Maybe I am random and quirky after all.

Happy New Year! I'll post some goals for the new year in a few days or so.

Till Next I write!

What I've learned this Christmas

I've just spent Christmas with my mother's side of the family for the first time in my life. I figured out that family means nothing while at the same time it means everything. I've never felt close to any of my extended family. Yes, biologically we're connected, but I've never felt too much emotional connection to them. Maybe it's the fact that I didn't grow up around family, I grew up in places where getting together with them happened after years of being away from them, and only for a few days at a time. Sometimes a few relatives would come out to visit, and then after they left, I got on with my life. I'm not used to them. On top of all that, I'm not very social. I'm quiet, I don't open up to people within a few minutes or even hours of meeting them. It takes a long time for me to be comfortable around strangers, and to me, these people feel like strangers. And so, "family" means nothing. Yet, at the same time, I realized, I do know these people. I can see familiar themes, in their words and phrases and their mannerisms and voices, in their appearances and faces. I slip so easily into the cadence of speech, I start to use the accents and slang. Even if I don't remember them, I do know them; which means, "family" means everything.

That's one thing I learned this Christmas. Another is "It's not easy being green." I know that needs an explanation. I bought, with my Christmas gift money, Sesame Street Old School: Vol. 1, and watched with joy "Bein Green". Maybe it was just the fact that it was so late at night, but I just suddenly got it. As a quiet person, "It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things, and people tend to pass you over, cuz you're not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water or stars in the sky." (Still with me?) But then, Kermit sings about all the good things green can be, "The color of spring," or, like I feel quiet can be "cool and friendly-like" and of course green can be "big like an ocean, or important like a mountain or tall like a tree." So, like Kermit, being green, or me, being a little quiet, if it's "all there is to be, it can make you wonder, but why wonder, why wonder? I'm green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful and I think it's what I wan to be." So, the whole point of my ramble here, is just that, don't try to change to please other people, especially when those people aren't all that important anyway, and you can find something you like about your difference. Then again, maybe I've just had too much hot chocolate lately.

Another thing I learned, today, driving back to Virginia from Maryland, with a frightened cat on my lap as I sat in the back (tiny) seat of my Dad's truck with a big trailer behind us and Jeremy Camp's Beyon Measure playing on my ipod, no matter how rough, strange, uncomfortable, off-balance my life has been or will be, God has given me all I have, and has so much more waiting for me. He loved me enough to give His son, and his giving won't end there. Praise God, and bring on the New Year!

Till next I write!

You Are a Practical Gift Giver

Your gifts are useful, appropriate, and custom tailored to each person. In your opinion, the best gifts are gifts that someone will actually use. Your gifts may not be the most glamourous, but they are always appreciated.

What Kind of Gift Giver Are You?

Merry Christmas, ya'll

Every year when I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special I nearly cry. I love and adore that special. This year, I found myself saying most of the script under my breath. I was only off on a few words. I usually do that, but I stop as soon as Linus says "Lights please." Then, I sit in enraptured silence as he recites scripture concerning the first Christmas. Then, after we walks back over to Charlie Brown, as soon as he says "That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown." my eyes well up. I'm overcome by the beauty of this moment. "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace, goodwill toward men." Isn't that wonderful?

I watched It's a Wonderful Life for the first time this year. I know, how terrible that I've lived 23 years without watching that movie. Well, I finally watched it, and I didn't see what's so special about it. Maybe if I had watched it every year since age 3 I would have adored it. Sadly, I didn't. I won't make too much effort to see it from now on.

I'm addicted to hot cocoa now, thanks to Panera and Starbucks. I hope they're happy. (I suppose that as long as I'm paying them for my habit, they're happy.)

Till Next I write!

Happy result

You Are Impressionism

You think the world is quite beautiful, especially if you look at it in new and interesting ways. You tend to focus on color and movement in art. For you, seeing the big picture is much more important than recording every little detail. You can find inspiration anywhere... especially from nature.

What Art Movement Are You?

The ups and downs of life

I've come to the conclusion that life is a series of changes; some you welcome open-armed, others you run and fight, kicking snd screaming to avoid. I know that I'm hardly the first to come to this conclusion, and I won't be the last. It's just that realizing that nothing witll ever stay the same, or be ok forever makes it easier to bear those silly little problems that you encounter everyday. I refuse to let this "problem" that I'm facing right now send me into the cave of depression and self-pity. Sometimes you need to make a personal resolution public, which is the only reason I'm blogging about this.

And sometimes, You just need a cup of cocoa... which is why I'm drinking one now.

Well, since my previous horrible, self-pity infused, sucky entry, things have picked up. I've figured out that there were only two options: change VA into CO (a venture that is merely doomed to failure) or change my attitude. Guess which one I changed.
Also, since then I've discovered that Elliot Yamin and Josh Groban both have new Christmas songs out this year. And since Mr. Yamin is "Richmond's own" they overplay his song to an extent that even I'm content. Of course, I bought both of them, I'll still overplay it myself. I love that man! Even if he has had work done on his teeth. I'm honest when I say that I screeched "He fixed his teeth!" out loud tonight in the store when I saw him on some magazine cover. The statement screeched itself, I'm usually better self-controlled than that, really.
I've alsofinally tried Starbucks' Peppermint Hot Cocoa. The greatest hot chocolate drink ever made, I tell you!
As you can see, my troubles can't have been too severe, as nothing more than a few consumer products have made life "all better." I'm still suffering from "why doesn't anybody write to or call me?" syndrome, which made it's onset only 4 days ago, but I'll recover from that soon enough.
Why is it that every church I see around here is Baptist if it isn't Methodist? Rhetorical question I guess.

Till next I write!

Adjustments...

If you remember a few months back when I said that I had experienced "crush at first sight" for the first time in my life you will also remember that I said I was getting over it. Well, I lied. I never brought it up again because I knew that it was going nowhere. You would think that now that I live across the dang country from him that I'd have a better grasp on the fact that it was going nowhere, but for some reason I think more about him than any other friend I left behind. I'm talking to more friends than I used to when I lived there (some weird part of me prefers to write to people instead of speak to people face to face) and he isn't one of them. When I left he didn't ask for a phone number or an e-mail. You'd think I'd get the hint that he's not interested.
I do get that hint, I really do. He never acted interested, and I never truly expected him to. So why did I wake up from a dream about him this morning? Why do I see things or people that make me think of him and then smile because of it? Why do certain songs that had no association with him before make me remember him?
Am I that pathetic that I would fixate on some man that I will never have? Am I avoiding my doubt and fear about this move by obsessing with a "safe" issue that will never be resolved? Am I turning my remembrance of Colorado as home into a picture of him as the perfect man for me?
Am I thinking about this too much? Probably. I think that in a few months I'll be so over him that if I do think about him it will merely be a memory of a very nice guy, not "the one that got away." I sure hope so. When I force myself to be reasonable (an activity that frankly I avoid when I can) I remember that there were things about him that annoyed me. With several hundred miles between us it's harder to remember that.
He does, however, hold the distinction of being the only guy friend of mine that I was never sarcastic with. I never once said a flippant or facetious remark in his presence. Even Ray can't make that claim.

In more "fluffy" news, my parakeet, Robbie, loved the drive out here. I'd been worried that being in a car would frighten my poor birdie, but he adored looking out the window and seeing the scenery fly by. He's even enjoying our current cramped living conditions. He seems to like that we're all in one room together most of the day. He's the happiest I've seen him in the year that I've owned him. I've also bought the second volumes of Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain. Good times. In addition to LOST DVDs and tapes I've had lots of entertainment despite not having any sort of cable or satellite for the first time in years.

I'll adjust to this change, just as I adjust to all others. Eventually I will love VA, just as I loved CO. At least, I hope I will.

Till next I write!

And so I return

I trust everyone has had a decent, if not better, Thanksgiving.
And to those crazies who went shopping on Black Friday, I hope you all had the sense not to get into fistfights over material things.
I have spent my day after the holiday in packing, cleaning, and watching High School Musical. The packing I merely endured, the cleaning I hated, and High School Musical I enjoyed. I shall now go into detail, if you are interested, then do, read on.

As I am moving soon (have I mentioned that? I don't recall if I have) I decided to pack my clothing for the road trip today. I have too many and not nearly enough clothes all at the same time. It's not entirely easy to pack when you have no clue as to how long you'll be living out of a suitcase. It's also hard when you don't have a clear mental idea of how the weather will be where you're going. I've not lived on the East Coast before, I've been living "out west" for about 12 years now. Oh well, change is good.

Now, as to the cleaning. Part of the cleaning I did involved going outside and checking our basement window "wells" and removing debris from them. (BTW, isn't "debris" an interesting word. Silent s's fascinate me... moving on) It's usually just branches or trash that has fallen in, but today I discovered a dead bird in the window to my bedroom. Now, it had to have been in there for quite awhile, but it was tucked into a corner that isn't really visible from inside. Just about a week ago, I seized the opportunity of Ray being at my house to ask him to remove a dead mouse from a different window. I did this because I hate dead animals. In general, I refuse to touch them. However, in the case of this bird, Ray is not often at our house, and besides, he's out of town right now. So, I had to remove a dead bird from my own window. I honestly gagged when I felt it's dead body through the gloves. After I had thrown it away, I actually went into the bathroom and cried. I cried over a wild bird that had been dead for only God knows how long. Man, that was depressing.

On a pleasant note however, I watched High School Musical for the very first time today. How I managed to miss it all this time I don't know. It's been wildly successful and we all know how Disney latches onto cash cows like this one. I found out that it would be on tonight, and decided to sit down and watch it. While I was watching, they were doing this "Pop up" info thing that was a little distracting, but pretty funny. I really enjoyed this little bit of fluff. HSM isn't exactly thought-provoking but it's pleasant and cute. Besides, I rather like musicals. I don't know why, but I do.

Such was my day. I just felt like writing, and posting another pic of Josh Groban, which I found here .

Till next I write!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get an user pic on here....

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Wow, I met one!

Ok, so, I'm sure that anyone who reads this (assuming that such a person exists out there...) has come across my statements of "I don't date." I hadn't met any other person who wasn't out looking for someone to hook up with before this Sunday. Sure, I've come across them on the internet (Barlow Girl's message board is positively teeming with non-daters [and do excuse me if I feel like some of them are just bandwagon jumpers]), but meeting one in real life, very rare.

Granted, I've known this guy for a couple months, I just didn't know this about him. I still wouldn't have known if another girl who lived in the same town he lived in was his girlfriend, and when this guy said no, Ray (poorly) explained why. (He did it so poorly that I can't remember what he said...) So, this guy explained that he believes that God has a wife picked out for him already, so why should he be dating now?

I'm so glad to see evidence that these people really exist. They're not just figments of my imagination. Nor are they hermits who never leave their computer keyboards... Though I'm beginning to fit that description... Um, moving on.

Yeah, I know I've probably met "plenty" of other people who hold these beliefs. It just doesn't come up in conversation often. Can you imagine just saying hi to a guy and him saying, "Hey, how are ya'? Oh and by the way, I won't ask you out 'cause I don't date." If any guy said that to me I'd look at them like they had 3 heads. The opportunity for saying that sort of thing doesn't pop up in most conversations. I mean, if you just started telling people this, most of the opposite gender are going to get the impression that you thought they were just waiting for you to ask them out, and how conceited can you be, huh?

Ok, my grammar has gone out the door. I'd better stop writing now. I ought to be e-mailing anyway...

Till next I write!

The Office

Man, I never thought an episode of the Office would prompt me to blog!

I know that Pam really ought not to have expected things to happen any other way, but to have Jim be so... cold to her is just, just, just hard to watch! I do like Karen, a little bit, anyway. But I like Pam, and I've liked Pam longer. I admit, Jim put his heart on the line, and Pam may as well have run over it with a truck, but man, do I want those two together.

I suppose it's all very realistic. It wouldn't be good for ratings for Jim and Pam to get together and live happily ever after. Happy couples don't make good TV, apparently dragging everything out for months is.

I hate this... but I can't stop watching. I mean, if I stop watching, there will be no more pranks, like timing Dwight's laps around the building with a thermometer.

Till next I write!

Your Vocabulary Score: B+

You have a zealous love for the English language, and many find your vocabulary edifying. Don't fret that you didn't get every word right, your vocabulary can be easily ameliorated!

How's Your Vocabulary?

Josh Groban's Awake is now in stores!

I am now kicking myself for buying the single for Solo Por Ti. I loved the clip of it, and disliked the other single for this album, You Are Loved (Don't Give Up). I figured that most of the CD would be like that... clips or songs that I found less than satisfactory with a few great ones here and there.

Then, today I went onto Itunes and listened to clips from all the songs. I like almost all of them! I want to buy and download the whole thing! But... I've already got one song, and it bugs me to pay for a song twice. I did it once, only because the download was cheaper if I bought it all rather than buying the other songs individually.

I used to have a "source" for listening to all of Josh Groban's albums before I bought any of the songs. I'm not really in touch with that person anymore... besides I'm not so sure that she would have bought the CD yet.

I'm off to decide whether patience will be practiced in this situation, or I'll impulse buy. We all know what I should do... we've yet to find out what I will do.

Till next I write!


Later:
Yes, I bought a few special tracks... 13 of them I think... really special. It was still cheaper, and I got the Itunes bonus tracks (same as the special edition ones, but I only got the songs I wanted! Go me!)

Youtube is getting to be a habit with me. I mean, either I'm on there looking for 80's cartoon clips or I'm looking for music videos. Either official ones, or fan videos like this video. I have to admit, I hate the song "Sexyback" but I love the way they use it in this video. One of these days I'll just have to figure out how to make my own MVs, but they'll never be as good as the ones I find out there.

P.S. Ever seen the video "How to fold a shirt"? It's awesome!

Till next I write!

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

80 Questions

80 Things You Might Not Know About Me

80 things you might not know about me.
Erase my answers, fill in your own, and repost.

1. What is your middle name? Leigh, there, now you know the L in "SLS"
2. How big is your bed? Full or double, whichever title you prefer
3. What are you listening to right now? The dialogue in tonight's episode of Numb3rs, but I'd prefer Vittorio...
4. What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number? 0283
5. What was the last thing you ate? "KFC's Famous Bowl" without the cheese
6. Last person you hugged? Terri
7. How is the weather right now? Windy, cold and about to snow
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Mum
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes and smile
10. Favorite type of food? "Comfort" food
11. Do you want children? Yup
12. Do you get high? Nope
13. Ever get so drunk you don't remember the night before? Never gotten drunk, period
14. Hair color? Dark brown, nearly black, but the ends are red from a poor dye job
15. Eye color? Brown
16. Do you wear eye contacts? Nearly every day
17. Favorite holiday? Christmas
18. Favorite Season? Fall
19. Have you ever cried over a girl/boy? Surprisingly, no
20. Last Movie you Watched? One Night with the King
29. What books are you reading? The Blue Castle and Deuteronomy
30. Piercings? Just the ears... I sometimes wear a fake cartilidge peircing
31. Favorite Movie? Ldyand the Tramp
32. Favorite college football Team? I care so little about football that I can't even name one
33. What were you doing before filling this out? Watching TV and browsing the internet, reading my bro's blog
34. Any pets? Two cats and a parakeet, poor little bird
35. AIM? Not in years
36. Dogs or cats? Cats, but I love dogs, too
38. Favorite Flower? Pansies, just like little smiling faces :0)
40. Have you ever loved someone? Yeah, what sort of question is that?
41. Who would you like to see right now? "The One"
43. Have you ever fired a gun? Not yet
44. Do you like to travel by plane? It's been so long, I don't know if I do or not
45. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right
46. If you could go to any place right now where would it be? Montreal
48. Are you missing someone? Yeah, my Dad
49. Do you have a tattoo? Nah
50. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? I don't usually wake up until the cartoons are over, I like to sleep in on Saturday
51. Are you hiding something from someone? Girls always have secrets
52. Are you under 50? Quite under
53. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE? Robbie my parakeet
54. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT? Barely
55. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING? "Zoe (cat) will you be quiet!"
56. WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE? Bible, lamp, 3 books (for variety) journals, pens
57. GRILLED OR FRIED? Grilled
59. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE? "Quirky" fashion and music taste. (Colors do not have to match, which is not to say that they never should, and hearing Josh Groban or Vittorio followed by Relient K or Stellar Kart and then Michael Buble or Tony Bennet and now a song from a movie score and end it all with some BBMak is a great play list)
60. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? No
61. FAVORITE HANGOUT? My room, anit-social little me
62. 3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT? Family, cats, God, music
63. FIRST THING YOU WILL BUY IF GIVEN 1 BILLION DOLLARS? Mini Cooper
64. FAVORITE SONG? That is like asking to pick a favorite hair on my head... I'll try... Barlow Girl's version of "No One Like You" (actually, no, but I just picked someting out of thin air.)
65. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Being completely ignored by everyone
66. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER? Mix of the two
67. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? I don't really have any
68. WHAT IS YOUR DAD'S MIDDLE NAME? William
69. WHATS YOUR MOTHERS MIDDLE NAME? Annette
70. STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD ONLY BRING ONE THING?
Bible
71. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL? The Petsmart one with the dachsund and his toy "Bobo"
72. WHO'S YOUR CELL PHONE PROVIDER? Cingular
73. FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE? Current journal
74. Favorite color? Blue
75. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS YOU ALWAYS BRING WITH YOU? Wallet, Cell phone, lip gloss
76. WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? Just about everything, but I recall Teacher coming up rather often
77. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS? Go on with my life
78. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET? Purple plaid
79. WHO DO U WANT TO MEET? Any one who wants to meet me, I guess
80. What is the last thing you think before going to bed? I'm so tired, is the bird covered? Where's the cat? Any candles burning? Ahh, finally bed.

That was long...

Hilary Duff...

So, I just saw the video for Hilary Duff's "Beat of my Heart".

It's my own dang fault, I should have changed the channel, I knew it as soon as I saw her on the screen...

I'm sorry to any fans she has, but anyone who reads this should realize I can be rather self-deprecating and I know when I've got "bad taste", but this song is utter garbage! It's monotonous, it's repetitive, her voice is awful! In all, the song just sucks!

Ok, back to your lives.

(Now, you should know, though I don't often admit it, I have liked certain Hilary Duff songs before. Actually, the only one I can think of right now is that stupid one with the line "When the light is off it isn't on". Wow, that's deep... still, it's a pleasant song with another stupid music video.)

Till next I write!
(Ooh, it's Anna Nalick now)

Cosi'

This is a video (a very cheesy video, in my own opinion) from a guy called Vittorio. I love this guy (you know, the Elliot Yamin and Benji Schwimmer kind of love...) and his over-the-top opera/pop songs. Cosi (Yes, I know it's called Bedshaped, but Cosi is a much cuter name) even has cheesy electric guitar worked in. You've just gotta love that. And now I find out the video is some sort of weird parody (tribute?) to To Catch a Theif! Awesome!
I first saw Vittorio on Dancing with the Stars (yes, I watch that show, and don't care what you think of it) when he sang a creepy, creepy song, wearing a black, hooded robe, with a choir decked out in matching robes, while flames were projected on the background and a bunch of professional dancers did some odd choreography. Not the greatest circumstances for me to see a new artist, I grant you. Yet, somehow, I was able to go beyond all the weirdness and hear that this man has an amazing voice.
How surprised was I to discover that Itunes has been recommending that I buy his CD for weeks now, in the "Just for You" feature. I dislike buying music I haven't really heard before... So I hesitated.
Then, yesterday I walked into Barnes and Noble, and his CD is playing throughout the store. I was now, indeed, hooked. So hooked that I paid for a CD at B&N! I could have found it cheaper elsewhere, I know, but I just had to throw caution to the wind. The man, after all, sings like an angel.
In the 24 hours that I've owned this CD, I've played it to Death. Death I tell you! But I can't get enough of it. I think the best songs are Querida (really, just mix in a little Spanish with a song and I think I'm hooked. Example: Josh Groban's Mi Morena), Maria (I've never seen West Side Story, but I almost want to now that I've heard this song) Il Mio Miracolo (which is just as lovely in English as You Are My Miracle, but I prefer him solo to duet, for some reason) and Magia De Amor. The whole CD is great, actually. So is the song If You're Not the One, which isn't on the CD, but is available on Itunes.

Ok, it's nearly 1 am and I shouldn't be rambling on about this guy... but I just wanted anyone who stumbled across my blog to know how much he rocks! (Ok, so I guess guys who sing opera don't technically rock.)

Till Next I Write!

Worship

Worship has been on my mind lately.
See, I have "Problem" with most songs that are labled "Praise and Worship". I feel like most songs that are given that lablel lately are really prayer, petition and whiny songs. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against prayer songs, I sing them... but I don't call it worshipping God. Repeatedly asking God to fill you, love you, open your eyes is not worship. It's asking God to do something (something that probably he's already done, you just need to get your own rear in gear and believe it... I digress.)
My take on worship is that you tell God exactly how amazing, wonderful, awesome, glorious, loving, powerful, good, and whole He is. Words can't truly descirbe it, so we employ music to try and add to the meaning. And we still fall short. When you focus on God and all that He is, problems, worries, questions fall away in the glory that surrounds Him and surrounds you as you recognize it.
I'm not perfect, sometimes I get swept up in a song that has music that I find completely mesmerizing, only to later look at the words closely and find that it wasn't really much praise in it. The focus gets on me, what I've done for Him. That's not worship. Not how I see it.
As I've said, I don't have anything against petition songs, plenty of that Psalms are petitions, but they mostly (all maybe?) end up with telling God how good he is. It just seems to me that this shouldn't be the main focus of our time singing or praying to God. More time should be spent thanking and praising Him for what He is and what He has done. Even if it didn't please God (which it most certainly does) you would be encouraged by realizing that you have this amazing ally and help and life from the creator of the universe, and not only is He that amazing, He loves you more than you love Him! Isn't that amazing?

Now, I need to get back to sorting my Ipod to have my worship music all in one playlist, instead of mixed in with the "other stuff".

Till next I write!

Love at first sight? No way

I don't believe in love at first sight. I definitely believe in strong attraction at first sight. But love, real love at first sight, cannot possibly happen in reality.

I don't think that love is an emotion, it's a choice. It really is an educated choice, too. You can't truly love someone unless you know something about them. It's easier if you know more about them. And people will always do things that will make you choose whether or not you will continue to love them, just as you do things that require them to choose whether or not they will continue to love you.

Attraction, ah, attraction is an entirely different animal. It's harder to decide and choose how you feel about someone's looks and manner. It's entirely true that you can meet someone and find them attractive but change your mind as you learn more about them. Unattractive people can become quite good-looking as you learn more of their personality.

I suppose the only reason I'm writing this entry is that I have, for the first time (and I pray the last time), experienced "crush at first sight". Yeah, so, the very first time I saw this guy I just met I was "enchanted". I didn't even speak to him that day. I never expected to see him again. I have, though, and we're in between friends and acquaintances. Now, after 3 weeks, I'm emotionally calming down. It's great, crushes can be fun, if you don't take them too far.

So, love at first sight. I don't think so. Crush at first sight. I didn't think so, but now I believe.

Take the quiz:
Which Christian Rock Band Are You?

You are Relient K!
Your crazy, funny, and you keep in touch with Jesus. You and your friends like to have an adventure. You may also know how to have a good time at any dances.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Who

I was in a park today, a work picnic to celebrate our ministry's anniversary. All of the employees and volunteers were invited, most came which made for a rather large crowd. I, once again, came to the conclusion that I dislike large crowds.

However, it also inspired a question for myself. Who do I have? Not who do I have in a strictly possesive sense, or even in a romantic sense. What I want to know is, who do I have as a real friend. I spent most of the day sitting in the grass watching "normal" people have fun, talk to each other, be friendly. Even when there were people around me, ones I knew or wanted to know, I could think of little to say to them. The two creatures I felt most at ease with were a shy little sheltie dog and a sweet and funny little toddler.

Though I may sound like a friendless loser, I thank God Ray was there, as he allowed me to "follow" him around and he talked to me when he had the chance. I am grateful for Ray, but having one friend is a tad discouraging. Especially when, as far as I know, he'll be gone next year. What then? Who will I walk the length of the park with, while we each speak whenever we think of something to say? (Usually it's Ray who talks anyway)

This is my third anniversary picnic, and the first that I "flew solo". The first two years, I invited someone to come with me. This year I felt a little stranded.

As I thought through my question, I thought of a Barlow Girl song, inspired by Psalm 73. Actually, I only thought of one line, "Who have I in heaven but You?" And I'm sure that many people sing that lyric and just gloss over it, think nothing about it. I doubt that many people actually believe they truly have no one but God.

But stop, think about it, really. Even if someone in your life has promised never to leave or forsake you, unless they are God, they will probably (definitelys?) break that promise. God is the only one who makes that promise who can keep it. (Heb. 13:5) Even if someone truly loves you and intends to be with you forever, things happen that will hinder that. Death, accidents, moving, hurt feelings, fights: any number of things can seperate two people. But nothing can seperate us from the love of God.

I suppose I've gone from "Psalm 73 - My God's Enough" to "Never Alone" now. But isn't that a great promise? God will never leave you. He is more than enough for you.

God wants us to have companionship just as much as we want it for ourselves. I admit, I'm a quiet person who prefers one-on-one interaction, but I know that God will always be there for me, even if no one person ever is again.

Thank God, I think I've just taught myself someting.

Till next I write!

"Conversate" is not a word

Just to tell the world at large, "conversate" isn't a word. The word you are looking for is "converse" No, not the shoe company, in which the first syllable is accented, but the verb in which the second syllable is accented. Get it right! For heaven's sake! it takes more effort to say it incorrectly than it does to say it correctly.

"Irregardless" isn't a word either! "Regardless" is what you mean. The prefix "ir" and the suffix "less" would cancel each other out, making it a double negative, and therefore, a positive. Again, it's easier to say the right one, anyway.

Also, if you want to keep me from getting a headache, learn how to use the word "myself". Yes, it's a real word, but so many people use it incorrectly that I want to pull my hair out.

If I had my way, I'd give free grammar handbooks to the entire English speaking population, and then require them to read at least the basics.
No, I don't care that I am a grammar nerd, and yes I make mistakes sometimes. I am not perfect, but at least I put an effort into my speech and conversation.

Till next I write!

You Are 9: The Peacemaker

You are emotionally stable and willing to find common ground with others. Your friends and family often look to you to be the mediator when there is conflict. You are easy going and accepting. You take things as they come. Avoding conflict at all costs, you're content when things are calm.

What Number Are You?

That day has come!...... and passed

So, I've been waiting for a very loooooooooooooooooong time for "them" to put Animaniacs and/or Pinky and the Brain on DVD. Oh, joyous and happy day I had yesterday when I expactantly walked into my nearest Wal-Mart (soul-devouring pit that it is) and came out with the first 22 or so episodes of both neatly packaged on little discs. Well, that and bird toys and gum and Snoopy Come Home on DVD... never let me alone in a Wal-mart, ever.
I watched the first disc of P&tB last night, subjecting my father to a marathon of cartoons (Love ya' Dad!). I'm surprised I chose to watch the mice before the Warners, A! was my favorite in years past. But who knows why we do the things we do. If I begin to start randomly singing "Brain Stem, brain stem!" then I cannot be blamed, I adore Pinky. (Rob Paulsen..... you rock, is all I can say, sir, You Rock.)
I only watched the first episode of A! and the interview of various voices featurette (Rob Paulsen!!!) and am eagerly looking forward to the rest of all of them.

Now, what we need is Freakazoid on DVD, and my preteen years of cartoon veiwing will be complete. (I think, I can't remember what else I watched back then.)

So, my WB TV animation collection now has the Looney Tunes Golden Collections (not really TV, but oh well), Batman: The Animated Series, season 1 of Animaniacs, season 1 (sort of) for Pinky and the Brain, and season 1 of Batman Beyond. Yep, I want Freakazoid now.

On a completely different note: Benji should so win So You Think You Can Dance. I love that guy (in the exact same way I love Elliot Yamin, of course)! He's amazing!

~Till Next I Write!

So accurate, it's scary

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker. What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions. You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself. Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

My music is different

First, I would like to tell a cute little anecdote: I was on Itunes, as I often am on a Tuesday evening, and looking at an imix for some Christian music. I came upon a clip of Saviour by Skillet. I played the thirty second sound bite, and just as I was remembering where I'd heard this song before, Robbie, my sweet parakeet who loves to listen to song clips and reacts to them according to how much he likes them, freaked out and tried to fly away! If he'd have succeeded, I'd have been impressed, as he was in his cage at the time. He succeeded in spreading feathers about the computer desk. So, I've learned just now that Skillet scares my bird.

Robbie seems to like Jeremy Camp, though. And he usually seems happy to hear Barlow Girl. He even liked the Krystal Meyers clips I played.

Anyway, I came to a realization tonight that my secular music sounds absolutely nothiing like my Christian music. My secular tends to be very mellow, and happy sounding. Such as, my newest secular purchase was Corinne Bailey Rae, quite good and mellow. Imagine Norah Jone mixed with Joss Stone, or something like that. I also have an affinity for what I call Guys and Guitars: John Mayer, Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz, Josh Kelley (and yes, I do realize all their names start with the letter J), but I don't like any of them well enough to buy all or their CDs, just select songs. But for Christian music, I've got stuff like Relient K (when they actually sound Christian...) Barlow Girl, Jeremy Camp, and now I'm looking for more stuff like that.

Actually, I've just mentally defeated my own point, by remembering that some of my favorite Christian music is Jadon Lavik, Out of Edens Hymns CD, and I adore Barlow Girl's slower worship songs. And some of my secular is pretty up there. I can't name any right now, but I do like a few songs with more electric guitar than substance (a few things by Skye Sweetnam come to mind). I just don't tend to buy the secular "hard" stuff. (Really, nothing I listen to is all that hard)

Well, there I go, I've just made this post null and void, except for the cute bird story. I have once again proven that I have nothing to talk about except my "kids" who happen to have fur and feathers. Dear heavens, I'm one of those moms! Just kidding. Hey, wanna hear about the cute things my cats have been doing?!?! Oh dear, I have cats. Not just cat... singular, but CATS plural! I'm a cat lady, but I'm in my 20s! AAAAAHH!

I'm ok, now.

Till next I write!
If you last that long.

Quirks, what makes you... well, you

I love peanut butter, but hate peanuts. When I told my boss this little fact, I couldn't explain why, so I just said, "One of my quirks, I guess."
That comment amused her.

Face it, everyone has weird preferences or habits that make sense to no one but themselves. Another of mine happens to be that I will sooner go into a room that I know has a spider loose in it than I room that I know has a moth loose in it. I don't mean big, ugly, gonna-take-over-the-world moths, (though I believe those are the epitome of yech!) but even little, tiny, where'd-it-go-I-can't-find-it-because-the-thing-is-tiny moths. Such as the moth that took up residence for two days in my work area last week. I was so freaked out by the thing that I was afraid to kill it. I'm sure it would have been amusing for you all to see me flailing a box cutter (don't worry, the blade was retracted) at a half-inch, harmless insect. I know that stupid little minion of the underworld was mocking me.

So maybe I exxagerate. Slightly.

Anyway, yes, I know that moths are harmless, but I find them to be the ultimate evil, straight from the pit of hell. (Did I mention I exxagerate?)

It's actually a little bit like my Parakeet, Robbie. I love to buy him new toys, but there's one problem. No toy is safe, they're all out to kill him. Under no circumstances is he to touch one, in fact, it's safer just to climb the cage walls than to risk contact with the malicious object. At least, that's what he thinks, for at least a month of the object being in his cage. Yet, the cats, oh, the cats are his best buddies. A cat by the cage is the most welcome thing ever, they'd never hurt me, we're family. All the while, of course, those cats are planning how to best open the cage to get to this jumpy, little blue snack. This is why God made sure that Robbie was born a pet, he's so stupid he'd die in the wild. I'm quite thankful that God trusted this cutie to my particuliar care.

Sammie, the newest addition to our pet family, (who happens to be laying on my arms as I type this) is a grey and white cat, about 3 years old, who prefers to back up rather than turn around, it would seem. Usually, this occurs when she's sitting on window sills, but occasionally at other times, too. This is in additon to the fact that one minute she'll be rubbing your legs, the next she'll be hissing and taking a swipe at your ankles. That, I suppose, is more nerves than quirk.

Well, I suppose I'm done relfecting on various "whims and inconsistancies" (another of my quirks, using any opportunity to quote my favorite books and movies) for now.

Till next I write!

New Quiz

How You Life Your Life

You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

You Are 44% Happy

You're definitely a happy person, even though you have your down moments. You tend to get the most out of life, though there's always some more happiness to be squeezed.

How Happy Are You?

I hate you American Idol

Elliot Yamin did not get enough votes to be in the finals for American Idol. I cried all night on Wednesday. Ok, so I didn't actually cry over AI results, but I could have.... had I cared more.
Actually, I didn't watch AI on Wednesday. I had more important things to do, like watch Lost. Lost is defintitely a stressful thing to be into. You're constantly left questioning the bizarre happenings on this weird and addictive show. Such as, Why do the Others want Hurley? Or even Sawyer? What are they doing with Walt? What happened to the "security system"? Isn't there anyone, I mean ANYONE, on the Island who can tell Mr. Eko that his theology is total crud? Has this "priest" even read the Bible? I guess that's what happens when a drug run goes bad and, bam, you're now a priest!
Of course, that last bit of thought on my part will make no sense to anyone who doesn't watch the show, like my brother. (Who, I believe, is the only person who reads this little blog anyway.)
Back to my Elliot. Yes, you heard that, I called him mine. Actually, I'm a horrible fan for him to have. Did I ever vote? Of course not. I don't care that much about the show. I'm rather convinced that it's fixed, completely bogus, a great big lie. But, you know, it's an entertaining lie underneath it all. I knew they were lieing to us when Clay wasn't the Idol. Thankfully, I'm now over the Clay Aiken thing.
I further believed that the show was a joke when Jon Peter Lewis made it as far as he did. I admit, I found JPL very entertaining, but more in a William Hung sort of way (who, you must admit, wasn't really entertaining enough to warrant a cd. Come on people!). Sorry, JPL fans, he was fun, but he couldn't sing.
I keep saying I'm going to talk about Elliot, then go off on some other subject. Sorry. I'm really just here to say, I love Elliot Yamin (like I said, in that "person on TV that I'll never meet" sort of way) and I will look for his future CD with eager anticipation.

If I must root for someone to win this stupid show, I'd have to vote for Taylor. When he's in his element, that guy can sing. Kat, however, bugs me. Of course, that means Kat will win. Watch, I'll be right, and you know it.

Rant done
Till next I write!

Writing just 'cuz I can!

I taught Ray the "I/Me" rule of grammar yesterday. I don't know if he quite got it, my explanation might not have been clear. It was just getting hard to listen to him say "I" when he should have said "Me" and I finally just corrected him. Ray really is a good friend, he's put up with me correcting his grammar for a long time now.

I've decided not to spend money for a month. I've got until May 15th and it seems to be taking a very long time. I, of course, will buy essentials, such as fuel, food and other odds and ends, such as contact lenses, that I need. I won't buy frivolous things like shoes (that I don't need, especially since all the ones I own now don't fit in my closet) clothes (likewise, don't all fit in my dresser) music (will fit in my ipod, but it isn't really necessary since I have 1,047 songs in it currently) or other junk. I'm mostly doing it to prove to myself that I can. I will not go on a spending spree immediately afterward, though. That would ruin the whole thing, what would be the point?

I love Elliot Yamin on American Idol. Seriously, I love the man. In the way that I love a person whom I see on TV and will never, ever meet. You know what I mean. He's my favorite contestant on any American Idol season (and I was a rabid Clay fan, not that I said "was"). I also love Taylor Hicks, but he sang rather badly tonight. Poor song choice, methinks.

Till next I write! (I nearly typed "nest")

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Growing past a fad

I used to love wide-leg jeans. I used to think the only jeans that were worth looking at were wide-leg jeans. I was never seen in denim if it weren't a pair of wide-leg jeans. I thought the trend change to bootleg and flare jeans were a sign of the madness and depravity of humanity, or at least the fashion world.

I have since changed my mind.

This was due mainly to the fact that you can no longer find wide-leg jeans anywhere. Believe me, I tried searching high and low for them. I clung to my last few dieing pairs as though they were the most beloved friends I'd ever had. But, alas, all fabric must wear eventually, and fade, and, gasp, tear. And so, one day I gave in. I bought a pair of bootleg jeans. I drove home from the store expecting to suffer through wearing them. Were bootlegs not the enemy? Had society not used them to replace my favorites? This was a surrender that I would only just endure.

I will now only be seen in public in bootleg jeans. I still have one old pair of wides, well worn and so comfy for at home wear, but the majority of my jeans drawer is bootlegs. I had a new fad.

This little experience was not unique. I go through this all the time, really. For example, I grew up utterly assured that pink was evil. Pink was society's way of getting girls to be brain-dead clones who only cared about whether or not their makeup was perfect, the cute boy was single, or the Gap was having a sale. Pink had no identity of it's own, if you liked or wore pink you were just like everyone else. This, while never articulated into words at that tender young age, was why I said my favorite color was red in kindergarten. I didn't care 2 figs about the color red. I didn't have a favorite color in kindergarten. I suspect when I answered that question I just looked up and saw something red, and since most of the other little girls had said their favorite was pink, I surely wasn't going to say that.

Just by looking at the main color scheme of my blog you can see that I have changed my mind about pink. I've decided I love pink. It however, isn't my favorite color. Blue is my favorite color. I decided that long ago, and shall stick with it. But I like pink very, very much. I know it's a phase I will go through. I will one day not wear anything pink and not think the outfit is missing something. I won't care either way about it.

I think that a large part of my reason for going against pink and bootleg jeans is that I despise being like everyone else. I'm over that now. At least, a little bit. I used to want to so badly to be an individual that I didn't care if that individual were me or not. I've learned better now. I am starting to realize that if I like something that is popular, it doesn't make me a mindless drone following the orders of someone else. It's ok to like something popular.

I'm not sure how much any of this would apply to anyone besides me, but it definitely helps me to realize this.

Till next I write.

The longest 15 minutes

I think that the longest fifteen minutes in the day is from 2:30 to 2:45 pm. Everyday, it feels like the clock slows down. I know that the clock isn't to blame, it's an atomic clock, it's never wrong.

By contrast, the shortest fifteen minutes in the day is 2:45 to 3:00 pm. That, my friends, is my afternoon break time. Life speeds up like someone is watching a video tape and that happens to be the commercial break, and what do most normal people do during a taped commercial break? They fast-forward.

I've often wondered why this phenomenon doesn't occur in the morning. Why doesn't the half-hour involving my pre-morning break and morning break go through the same dramatic change? I believe it is because I don't actually wake up until noon. I don't wake up until I've eaten lunch. Oh, I'm awake, I assure you, I simply am not really awake mentally. I don't care about the clock until 12:15. Wait, you say, you said you wake up at noon! Yes, my astute readers. I wake up at noon, but I don't care about the clock. From noon to 12:15, I am only concerned with eating. I don't eat breakfast, you see. No need to tell me that it's the most important meal of the day, I already know that. I don't like breakfast. I don't like breakfast food, I don't like taking more time in the morning to eat. I simply do not like breakfast. The only breakfast I like is waffles, and only the kind my mom makes, not the toaster kind. Not even the restaraunt kind. I'm picky that way.

I suppose another reason that morning break doesn't fly by is because I usually don't talk to co-workers then. I don't talk much in the morning. No, really, I talk less in the a.m. if you believe that possible. I do talk a little on afternoon break. I do more listening than talking, but still conversation makes time go faster. There are more people in the breakroom in the afternoon, which makes for a noisier environment, another time-speeder.

And so, for me, 2:30 until 3:00 is the stangest, and most changeable half-hour of the day.

Till next I write!

Greetings to my non-existant readers. If you expected me to let the world know what was the outcome of my prayers and soul-searching, I'm sorry to disappoint. That, for now, is between me and God; not me, God and the internet.

Has anyone noticed that Jason Mraz makes the most beautiful "la-di-da" sounds that ever eminated from a human being? I think so anyway, I don't much like his lyrics, but if he put out a CD of just him making those sounds and playing giutar, I'd so buy it and play it to death. As it is, I'll just return his CD to the library after a couple of weeks and forget about him entirely. Sorry, Mraz.

I recently went a little nuts putting CDs on hold at my library. I had about 18 on hold, and recently discovered that you can only check out 10 at a time. Darn. Anyway, I gave Mraz a try, and Anna Nalick. I have Breathe (2 Am) from Itunes already, but since it was the only song of hers I'd heard, I figured I'd give Wreck of the Day a chance. The result is that I'm intrigued by Forever Love (Digame). Again, a cd that musically is beautiful, but lyrically I'm disappointed. I have a problem with music that is definitely and without a doubt not Christian. I dont' think there is any problem with that, my saviour, Jesus Christ, is everything to me, and I don't like things or people to deny him. It is, however, making it difficult to find thought-provoking music. Especially when most Christian music seems anything but thought-provoking to me, and it doesn't help that the local radio station plays some of my least favorite songs and artists incessantly.

I have decided that I find Superchick to be the Black Eyed Peas of the Christian music world. Insulting? Maybe, but it's how I feel. I don't like Superchick, and I don't like Black Eyed Peas. (My Humps is the most idiotic and insulting song I've heard in a long time) Think about it, though, they both have catchy music, that seems to do little more than loop around a certain phrase more than is necessary. You can listen without thinking.

I hope I don't sound stuck up. I own an A-Teens CD after all. I was a huge Backstreet Boys fan, and still have 3 of their CDs.

I admit, I don't know

Here I am, 23 years old, and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. My dream is to be an author, and get married and have a family. I don't know how to get there.

So, what am I going to do about it? I'm going to pray. For those of you who know me, that statement coming from me is radical and strange. My mom would probably act shocked to read it, knowing that it came from her daughter. She's been pressing me (it seriously feels like nagging, but I'd get in trouble to call it that) to do so for oh... years. I guess when you just reach that point of desperation, and realization that you're stuck you finally get it that God's the only one who can tell you what to do.

I'm also going to (privately in my own journal) write down exactly what it is I want. And I'll go into specifics. This will be done prayerfully and carefully. Really, I've gone through most of my life just letting it happen.

That changes now.

I'm such a girl... Quizzes!

You Are a Chick Rocker!

You're living proof that chicks can rock You're inspired by Joan Jett and the Donnas And when you rock, you rock hard (Plus, you get all the cute guy groupies you want!)

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

You Are Winter!

Intelligent Serious Cozy Calm Shy

What Season Are You?

You've Been Bit By the Shopping Bug!

You're constantly adding to your wardrobe - and it shows However, you can show some restraint. You love good deals. Your love of the clearance rack has paid off... You probably have only maxed out card or two, if at all!

Are You a Shopaholic?

You Are Boot Cut Jeans

You're fashionable and sexy - in an understated way. You're more about looking good than following the latest look of the week.

What Style of Jeans Are You?

You are a Rocker Girl!

If you don't have musical talent, you've got a talent for picking out great CD's. Music rules your life - and you've got the best MP3 collection of anyone you know. Many guys find you intimidating, but a select few think you're the catch of a lifetime. Start hanging out in more used record stores, and you'll find love with a fellow rocker!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

When I grow up, I want to be Becca Barlow

Drop what you are doing right this minute, run to Yahoo Music and watch the Barlow Girl "Never Alone" video. NOW, I tell you! Why are you still reading this? Go!




There, now that you've done that, tell me that Becca Barlow, the guitarist, isn't cool. You can't, can you?
Actually, I'm pretty near obsessed with BarlowGirl right now. I love, love, love their music. However, if you had told me that I would love them the first time I heard their first CD, I'd have called you insane. I thought their music was cheesy, nearing vague (for Christian music) and just too "rock" for me. I have since bought their second CD.

The story behind me getting Another Journal Entry was this: I was having a rough time, emotionally. My mom and I had just had a blow-up, I was nervous about being home alone for the first time in my life, and I needed something to build me up. I saw "Let Go" as a free download on Itunes, and got it, but it didn't impress me. It did, however, let me know that they had a new CD out, though. While researching this CD, I came across a page that had "I Need You To Love Me" on it. The whole song. It struck a chord with me so strongly that I didn't hesitate to buy the entire album. I wanted it so badly, that I didn't even wait to go to a store to get the real thing, I downloaded it from Itunes (a practice usually reserved for single good songs from bad albums). I listened to it at least three times before I went to bed, and I go to bed at 10:00 and had downloaded the album at 9:30.

Actually, since then, "I Need You To Love Me" hasn't stayed up so well in my opinion. Yes, I still like it, but it isn't "it" anymore, if that makes any sense. Shardae could tell you that the song that I now run to when I need support and can't go and read my Bible for 2 hours or so is "Psalm 73 - My God's Enough". It was also the first time I heard "No One Like You", and since I'm not a big David Crowder fan, that's my favorite version, and that gives me energy like you wouldn't believe.

Musically, I find BarlowGirl the most comforting and uplifting thing I can listen to. Thanks to the little miracles that are ipod playlists, I can listen to "BarlowGirl" and "Another Journal Entry" all mixed up together, and get the benefit of even their first CD. These two CDs have helped me through a lot of drama since October, and for that I reccomend them to anyone who might like them. (I wouldn't reccomend them to people who think rock music is of the devil. Those people I just sort of stare at, actually... I kid, I kid!)

Actually, the funny thing is, they've given me a bit of a nudge to really try learning guitar. Why? Because Becca is so cool! No, really if any one of the girls can take the blame for that it's Lauren, who never took drum lessons. Yeah, they all play piano, but come on, just picking up the drums!!! Unreal in my book. Actually, anyone who teaches themselves to play any instrument well is amazing to me. I've not been able to do it. (I should be practicing, but instead, I'm typing this up.)

Besides all that, they are huge support in my stand on not dating. When you seriously feel like you're the only person not dating someone, it's good to be able to pop in "Average Girl" and be reminded that you're not alone. There are some other nuts out there with what seems like more faith than sense. (Acutally, I find anyone who doesn't date, but instead does "courtship" [which is a vague and varied term, but I digress] interesting and inspirational. It's hard on me, I know.)

Add to all this, the song "On My Own" which I'm adopting as my theme song. "This pattern seems to be the story of my life/ I should have learned this lesson by the thousandth time" Yeah, that's me.

My plan is to write out their lyrics on a bag for my stuff. Not a purse, a bag, for the non-pursy "essentials" like my Bibles, (I have 2 on me at all times.) my journal, my sketch book, any book I'm reading (if it's small enough, this bag doesn't even exists yet and it's getting heavy) and other "ooh, I need that, too" stuff. I don't know how long that will take me to make, but it's gonna be cool.

Till next I write!

Seven Things

Once again, I've stolen something from a message board.

1.Seven things I plan to do before I die.
1- Go to New York City
2- Go to England
3- Go to Prince Edward Island Canada
4- Get married
5- Have kids
6- Write at least one book
7- Have that book published

.2. Seven things I can do.
1- Bend my pinkie finger so that the tip touches my middle finger knuckle
2- Sing along to Yakko's World from Animaniacs
3- Draw cats
4- Drive a car and sing at the same time
5- Write in Aurabesh
6- Knit
7- Write e-mails that make my friends laugh, without really intending to

3. Seven things I can't do.
1- Speak German
2- Breathe underwater
3- Play the violin
4- Get our new cat to leave the guest room
5- Breakdance
6- Watch surgeries
7- Walk through walls

4. Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex.
1- Dark Hair
2-Blue Eyes
3- Good Laugh
4- Fun sense of humor
5- Considerate
6- Likes animals
7- Tall

5. Seven things I say the most.
1- Uh... yeah
2- Sure
3- O.... k
4- Hey
5- Oh my word
6- What in all manner?
7- Hi Sweetie (to my pets)

6. Seven celebrity crushes.
1- Ewan MacGregor
2- Dominic Monohan
3- Peter Cincotti
4- Christian Bale (???)
5- Not really a crush, but Cary Grant
6- Again, not a true crush, Frank Sinatra
7- After the first one, this list was near impossible! How about... Johnny Depp

7. Seven things that make me uncool.
1- I like the Star Wars prequels
2- I don't dress like a hoochie
3- I don't date
4- I prefer a book to a reality show
5- I had trouble coming up with 7 celebrity crushes
6- I don't like Smallville (I guess that makes me "uncool")
7- I don't watch the O.C.

That survey

I got the survey I posted below from Josh's MySpace (Congrats Josh, you're the only person I've referred to by first name. BTW, I remember your middle name, it's just less confusing this way)

That is all

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	SLS as far as the majority is concerned
Birthday:	1/26
Birthplace:	Ft. Worth
Current Location:	Right here
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Dark Brown
Height:	5'5.5"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right handed
Your Heritage:	...
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Vans- RayRays to be exact (coolest shoes ever)
Your Weakness:	Cute things: Babies, puppies, kittens, clothes, shoes... guys (only sometimes)
Your Fears:	MOTHS! insects in general, heights, failure
Your Perfect Pizza:	One without olives... or anchovies
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Learn to play guitar, write a book, Start a clothing line or something
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	I don't use instant messengers, so I wouldn't know
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Morning already?
Your Best Physical Feature:	You expect me to pick just one? Just kidding, I don't know
Your Bedtime:	anywhere around 10 pm
Your Most Missed Memory:	Wha?
Pepsi or Coke:	Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:	McDonalds, if I must. (I prefer Taco Bell)
Single or Group Dates:	Never been on one, so can't tell you
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Tea, in any form, is just plain nasty
Chocolate or Vanilla:	chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	All coffee is nasty
Do you Smoke:	Yuck! No
Do you Swear:	Unfortunately, at times
Do you Sing:	Not when I can be heard
Do you Shower Daily:	Yeah
Have you Been in Love:	Almost, but not quite real, so NO
Do you want to go to College:	Not really, but we'll see
Do you want to get Married:	Heck yes, but who knows when
Do you belive in yourself:	I believe in God more
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Nope
Do you think you are Attractive:	Well... yes
Are you a Health Freak:	nah
Do you get along with your Parents:	Most of the time
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Not really
Do you play an Instrument:	Piano
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	nope
In the past month have you Smoked:	nope
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	I already told you, I've never been on one
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Who says no to that question? Especially right after Christmas!
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Yeah, I guess oreos are another weakness
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	I think I have, it's been awhile though
In the past month have you been on Stage:	nope
In the past month have you been Dumped:	What part of "never dated" don't you get?
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Not that it's any of your business, but no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	No, who wrote this thing?
Ever been Drunk:	No
Ever been called a Tease:	No
Ever been Beaten up:	No
Ever Shoplifted:	NO
How do you want to Die:	From old age
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	An adult
What country would you most like to Visit:	England
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Blue
Favourite Hair Color:	Dark brown
Short or Long Hair:	Short
Height:	Tall, who wants a specific height?
Weight:	Again, who cares about specific? I don't care about generic on this question
Best Clothing Style:	One that fits the guys personality
Number of Drugs I have taken:	Prescription or OTC? What's with these questions?
Number of CDs I own:	You expect me to count them? I'll guess 150
Number of Piercings:	Two, one in each ear
Number of Tattoos:	0
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	0
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Well, now, Happy New Year!

I hope and trust that you all had an enjoyable Holiday Season, and that you all cleaned up with Christmas presents. I know I did.

There are a few things that I have neglected to blog about, since my last entry. I avoided writing, becuase I found out my brother would be home for Christmas, and I wanted to see how he'd react to a few changes aroud the house. Mostly my new parakeet. You see, the Sunday after Thanksgiving, my mom found out about a family giving away their little blue parakeet. I asked her if we could take him, not really expecting her to say yes, but she did. (Funny story, I got a pet hamster when I was 9 because my mom told me to ask my dad, expecting him to say no, obviously, he didn't) (Ok, maybe not so funny) Anyway, I got a free budgie, that I spent $100 on the day after he came home. Bird supplies are expensive, dude. The guy who was at the house when we picked the bird up wasn't too informative, he didn't know what his family had named the poor dear, so we got to name him. I am now the proud "mommy" of The Dread Parakeet Roberts! We call him Robbie. The name is, of course, taken from The Princess Bride, my favorite quotable movie.

So, as I mentioned, my brother was able to come home for Christmas, which means I got to see him again for the first time in 2 years. I'm amazed and pleased to say that he's been here since Christmas eve and he and I haven't had a single argument. Either we've each matured, or we've been too busy to get on each other's nerves. I'll be nice and call it a combination of the two. He wasn't too surprised by Robbie, though.
I was surprised, though, to learn a few days prior to his arrival that we would be keeping his cat, Sammie. Now, most people that know me, know that I consider cats to be essential to life. No cat, I die. (Exxagerating, yes, but only slightly) But even I know that 3 cats in one house can be pushing it. Especially when cats continually look at Robbie with hungry eyes. (Poor little out-numbered bird) I've only seen Sammie out of my brother's room 2 or 3 times so far, but I'm sure she'll adjust to life here. Especially when she realizes that my brother is leaving.

I have seen Chronicles of Narnia twice now. I definitely enjoyed it and hope they continue and make each book into a movie. It would give me another movie series to look forward to. Star Wars and Lord of the Rings is finished, so I need a new series. (Ok, I suppose "need" is the wrong word, I Want a new series to look forward to)

Christmas was fun. We had a bunch of people over. I got the Nintendo DS I wanted, and quite a few other things. Including Twilight Zone seasons 1 and 3 (Mum couldn't find 2, oh well) I've got 8 games on the DS, but am pretty much taken up with Animal Crossing Wild World and Nintendogs. I find time for Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, though.

New Years Eve, we only had three people over, but it was still fun. I got to watch my Dad, Brother and two guy friends "kill" each other in Medal Of Honor. I didn't play, but that's ok. Let those boys think I can't play video games, I know they're wrong. *wink* I didn't get to sleep until 3 am, and that certainly isn't normal for me. Sorry to say, I wasn't at church on Christmas or New Year's, but I'm sure I'm forgiven for it. I did go to a church, just not my own, and not for services. Sharday and Nick's church had a barbecue yesterday afternoon. I went, and got my butt kicked at Phase 10, which I now hate. (I'd never played before, what can I tell you. By the way, I wanted to slap Alan, really hard. But I think it was just because I was extremely tired, I don't usually want to slap him.)

Well, yesterday, my dad had to take our new computer back to Best Buy, and got a new one. So, I've just finished transfering all my music onto the new one, and updating my ipod. I was just taking some time between to catch up on my blog. My dad needs to do something else, so I'll wrap up here and finish my other tasks.

(I love this bird, he likes the funkiest music. I'm playing Stitched Up by John Mayer and Herb Hancock, and he's just chirping up a storm. Parakeets get loud, my friend, really loud!)