Allow me to be nostalgic

Most girls go through the "boy-band" stage. I was fortunate enough to not be enamoured of Nsync or Backstreet Boys or 98 Degrees. I was head over heels for BBMak. I fought it, really, I didn't want to be into a boy band, but they got me. I still love them, they just don't exist as a band anymore.
As for the members themselves, I can't find a dang thing about Mark Barry (my favorite member...)
Christian Burns is in some group called Inhaler. (Sorry, honey, the "guyliner" isn't fooling me)
But happily, I found that Ste McNally has a site with acoustic samples of the songs he's trying to put on a CD. Here! Ste MAK in all his glory!
His voice was my favorite in the group, and his guitar playing was the best in the group, and so I'm happy as a peach right about now. (That is, if peaches are particularly happy) Sadly, his lyrics are about as mentally challenging as walking through a revolving door. Then again, I don't quite go to pop to think deeply about life, do I? My favorite song happens to be Blue Jeans, sounds oh so original doesn't I? Ok, so maybe I'm needlessly sarcastic, but I really do love the song. Reason for Breathing also happens to be one of the most cliche ridden songs I've ever been subjected to, but I truly think I could listen to this guy sing the users manual for a toaster right now.
I've been listening to BBMak a lot lately. And I just have to wonder why these guys weren't more popular. The songs are fun, the harmony is great, they were cute! That's all that a boy band needs for success, really, isn't it? I blame Hollywood Records for not enough publicity. Sure, they were all over Disney Channel after their first CD came out, but the second CD was barely advertised. That sucked. Maybe the world just wasn't/isn't ready for a boy band that doesn't do choreographed dances. Well, it's hard to do all that junk when you're holding a guitar. They chose the music over the dance, so there! Yeah, I'm nuts.
What I really think the problem was happens to be the fact that there were so stinking many boybands in the 90s. Every time you turned around there was a new one. They couldn't all survive.
I'm off to listen to more of "Ste Mak's" songs. (The boy really needs a more normal sounding name. What's wrong with Steve or Stephen anyway? And McNally isn't that hard to say...)

Till next I write!

Ok, so I'm a year older, now what?

So yesterday was my birthday. I went shopping, just to get out of the RV and out of this town and away from the stress and hassle that is finding a house, not to mention other stresses and hassles that have come in varying degrees and sources of late. We drove about an hour away, to a huge outlet mall, where I didn't buy nearly as much as I inticipated buying. I did, however, buy something I never thought I'd ever buy. I bought Beatles music. I bought the "1" CD. I also bought "flare" jeans. On top of that, I bought flip flops.

Now, all this may sound as normal as any shopping trip for anyone. The thing is, I realized that the person I was at my 21st birthday would have been utterly horrified to find that three years later she'd be doing any of this. I know I've mentioned before about how my mind has changed oon certain things, for example, the color pink, wide-leg vs. bootleg (and now "flare") jeans, and now music like the Beatles.

Change is a normal, natural part of life. However, sometimes we stupidly expect everything about our own personality, what makes us us, to stay the same forever. We think we'll be of the same mind from one hour to the next, from one month to the next, from one decade to the next. Whether it's big like religious beliefs or political opinions or it's small like favorite color or prefered style of shoes; we never expect ourselves to change.

Then again, maybe I'm just the only person who wanted to be the same from year to year.

I am glad that I've changed. I haven't changed in essentials. I still place faith in what I placed faith in then, God. Sure, I've trusted in people and ideas that have failed me, I've been wrong on certain things, but the one thing I've "always" believed in hasn't changed. I've learned more and my understanding has grown and changed, but God has never left me or forsaken me, and He never will. I still love what I loved then, I still hate what I hated then. Ha ha, I still think moths are evil. I'm growing.

I'm broadening my horizons. I'm learning. I'm forming my own opinions.

I still compare myself to my past, which I've been doing ever since I finished my first journal. For so long I didn't seem to change. I suppose I'm happy that I seem to be growing now.


What was the point of all this? I don't know.



random confession:
As "rock" as I try to be, I've got about as much "edge" as a pretty, pink, bubble gum bubble. I will always love pop music.

Maybe it was the hat

The other night, I went with my parents to a buffet. I had already had my own dinner, but I figured I could get dessert, and maybe a salad. (Perhaps this sort of thing could explain why my pants aren't quite fitting the way I remember... naw, they just shrunk in the dryer) Anyway, I had half a plate of salad, and a "slice" of a big cookie, and then we were all done my mom glanced at the receipt and discovered that they cashier, when we first walked in, had assumed I qualified for the children's price. That cashier thought that I looked like I was younger than 12 years old! I am one week away from my 20 (something)th birthday and this woman thought I was 12! This is ridiculous! Do I exude some sort of aura of immaturity? Did I stop aging as a teenager? Was it the hat I was wearing? It must have been the hat.

I'm sure when I'm "old" I'll be flattered if someone thinks I'm 10 years or so younger than I am. But right now, it's just really weird.




I am sad to report that yesterday we became a one cat family. Still sad about that.

Get Thee to Barnes and Noble

It's not really like me to refer people to certain stores or name brands, especially when they aren't paying me, but B&N has such a sale on TV season sets that I felt I must tell all of you.
Now, they have a buy one get one free sale on their TV section. Thanks to this, I now own the entire run of Twilight Zone. Which brings me one question: Why on God's green earth are they charging $100 for each season normally? Even the imported All Creatures Great and Small DVDs (which my parents bought and my father and I are now enjoying) are only $80. Those are imported! TZ has no such problem that I know of. Oh well.

You may have noticed that I've put a lot more links on the left. I'm just showing a few places that I get my icons. Most come from the Iconarama page. A few of those links I haven't used any icons from yet, but I plan to.

Too many "me"s

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 54 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Why do I consider this big news?

Considering all the things that are going on in the world right now, why do I feel the need to link all my readers to this newstory? The guy who invented Instant Ramen died.
I have no idea why this seems so momentous to me. Maybe it was his quote in the story about the world not going hungry. Maybe I'm grasping at material for this blog that isn't "woe is me, mylife sucks even though nothing's wrong, wah!"

Personal fluff, my parents and I went to the national Gallery of Art today. I've come to the conclusion that modern and contemporary art reminds me of Sesame Street. I have no idea why. It just does. I got to be in the same room(s) as my absolute favorite Monet paintings, which was just plain awesome. I've also discovered that I actually like Andy Warhol, who knew?

Till Next I write!

"Too many shadows in my room"

I've wanted to disappear for a few days. Not literally, I feel invisible in my own space enough as it is. I wanted to just vanish as far as my old friends in Colorado are concerned. It was one e-mail that seemed to trigger it. A friend sent a quick note to me, he just wanted to say hi. He asked me to write back when I had the time. I wanted nothing more than to archive the letter and never acknowledge it again. No reply, no phone call, nothing.


I answered him a little while ago. I just didn't feel right, knowing he'd wonder if I were mad at him, if I were ok, what was going on, and all that sort of thing.

I know how it is when a friend just doesn't acknowledge that I exist anymore. It hurts. Yet, at the same time, I've done it. In a few instances I have no regrets for doing it. Mostly because they didn't bother trying to get in touch with me again, either. Somehow, I don't want to lose touch with CO, in spite of the fact that I have lost touch with every other place I've lived in. I don't really have old friends who turned into pen-pals. Most of the people who I tried to stay in touch with got out of touch with me. Most of the last letters were from me.
Left unanswered.

I think I'm afraid of it all happening again. I want to beat them to the punch. I want to hurt them before they hurt me.

But I can't.

I love all of them too much. Not just him, but all of them. Even if I go weeks, or eventually months, between their letters. I still love them.





Till next I write.