Sunday, December 31, 2006

New Year Goals (Not Resolutions)


I just want to do these things this coming year, I won't be disappointed or feel like a failure if I don't do them. These 30 items just seem like stuff I'd like to see happen in 2007.

1. Grow closer to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
2. Finish reading the Bible through for the 3rd time, and possibly start the 4th
3. Return to regular piano practice (when I get my piano back)
4. Return to regular guitar practice (ditto)
5. Start sewing again
6. Learn Spanish
7. Learn Italian
8. Learn to really crochet
9. Learn to play bass guitar
10. Either learn to play the drums or get rid of my insanely sudden desire to play them
11. Learn cat grooming (maybe dogs, too)
12. Finger train Robbie
13. Make Friends
14. Finish all my season set DVDs
15. Learn to cook
16. Read at least one more book by Charles Dickens
17. Read at least one non-fiction book for the year
18. Watch at least three "classic" movies
19. Go to either New York City or Montreal
20. Finish a knitting project
21. "Recon" some clothes or shoes
22. Redecorate my room in colors other than blue, green or purple
23. Join at least one musician's "fan club"
24. Get a part time job and/or go back to school
25. Organize my music
26. Take a cake decorating (or other cooking stuff) class
27. “Downsize” my purse
28. Get the courage to sing in public (so that I’m heard)
29. Get the courage to dance in public
30. Memorize at least 4 Psalms, and 5 New Testament verses

I've been reading the blogs of various singer/songwriters that I like. I've come to the conclusion that I, unfortunately, will never be that interesting. I guess that's how they're able to be good songwriters, they have these thoughts that are worth hearing. More comes to them in one second of random thought than I would think of in an entire day of reflection.
That is something that I've envied in some of my friends, they're random and funny. I can think of some funny things that are related to something I've seen or heard sometimes, but I can't be weird and random for no good reason. You may think that's a weird thing to envy, but I don't. Sure, some people want to have a quick wit that would work for scathing comebacks to insults (sadly, it still doesn't always work that way. I've found the only way to quickly think of a comeback is if you don't care what they just said to you. If you care, the hurt of the insult slows your reaction time.) but I just want to be plain odd sometimes.
For example, On Radio Free Roscoe (golly, but I miss that show) my favorite character was Parker. She was just weird. I suppose the polite term for it would be "quirky". Sure, she's a tv character and her lines were scripted, but still I wanna be like her. In reality, I'm more like the drummer from "No Man's Land" (I think her name was Megan, but I'm not sure) she barely spoke. I think she was only around because the show wanted a drummer for the band, Lily played guitar, Parker played bass, so they just added someone unimportant to play drums. Oh well.
Off topic, but I find drummers to be "interesting" people. I feel like usually once you meet a drummer, you know it. They're usual incessant "drumming" with their fingers or hands is a good tip off. I want to play drums, but I'm not that fidgety usually.

How did this post go from writing about being and interesting writer to being a drummer? Maybe I am random and quirky after all.

Happy New Year! I'll post some goals for the new year in a few days or so.

Till Next I write!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

What I've learned this Christmas


I've just spent Christmas with my mother's side of the family for the first time in my life. I figured out that family means nothing while at the same time it means everything. I've never felt close to any of my extended family. Yes, biologically we're connected, but I've never felt too much emotional connection to them. Maybe it's the fact that I didn't grow up around family, I grew up in places where getting together with them happened after years of being away from them, and only for a few days at a time. Sometimes a few relatives would come out to visit, and then after they left, I got on with my life. I'm not used to them. On top of all that, I'm not very social. I'm quiet, I don't open up to people within a few minutes or even hours of meeting them. It takes a long time for me to be comfortable around strangers, and to me, these people feel like strangers. And so, "family" means nothing. Yet, at the same time, I realized, I do know these people. I can see familiar themes, in their words and phrases and their mannerisms and voices, in their appearances and faces. I slip so easily into the cadence of speech, I start to use the accents and slang. Even if I don't remember them, I do know them; which means, "family" means everything.

That's one thing I learned this Christmas. Another is "It's not easy being green." I know that needs an explanation. I bought, with my Christmas gift money, Sesame Street Old School: Vol. 1, and watched with joy "Bein Green". Maybe it was just the fact that it was so late at night, but I just suddenly got it. As a quiet person, "It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things, and people tend to pass you over, cuz you're not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water or stars in the sky." (Still with me?) But then, Kermit sings about all the good things green can be, "The color of spring," or, like I feel quiet can be "cool and friendly-like" and of course green can be "big like an ocean, or important like a mountain or tall like a tree." So, like Kermit, being green, or me, being a little quiet, if it's "all there is to be, it can make you wonder, but why wonder, why wonder? I'm green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful and I think it's what I wan to be." So, the whole point of my ramble here, is just that, don't try to change to please other people, especially when those people aren't all that important anyway, and you can find something you like about your difference. Then again, maybe I've just had too much hot chocolate lately.

Another thing I learned, today, driving back to Virginia from Maryland, with a frightened cat on my lap as I sat in the back (tiny) seat of my Dad's truck with a big trailer behind us and Jeremy Camp's Beyon Measure playing on my ipod, no matter how rough, strange, uncomfortable, off-balance my life has been or will be, God has given me all I have, and has so much more waiting for me. He loved me enough to give His son, and his giving won't end there. Praise God, and bring on the New Year!

Till next I write!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

You Are a Practical Gift Giver

Your gifts are useful, appropriate, and custom tailored to each person.
In your opinion, the best gifts are gifts that someone will actually use.
Your gifts may not be the most glamourous, but they are always appreciated.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Merry Christmas, ya'll


Every year when I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special I nearly cry. I love and adore that special. This year, I found myself saying most of the script under my breath. I was only off on a few words. I usually do that, but I stop as soon as Linus says "Lights please." Then, I sit in enraptured silence as he recites scripture concerning the first Christmas. Then, after we walks back over to Charlie Brown, as soon as he says "That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown." my eyes well up. I'm overcome by the beauty of this moment. "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace, goodwill toward men." Isn't that wonderful?

I watched It's a Wonderful Life for the first time this year. I know, how terrible that I've lived 23 years without watching that movie. Well, I finally watched it, and I didn't see what's so special about it. Maybe if I had watched it every year since age 3 I would have adored it. Sadly, I didn't. I won't make too much effort to see it from now on.

I'm addicted to hot cocoa now, thanks to Panera and Starbucks. I hope they're happy. (I suppose that as long as I'm paying them for my habit, they're happy.)

Till Next I write!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Happy result

You Are Impressionism

You think the world is quite beautiful, especially if you look at it in new and interesting ways.
You tend to focus on color and movement in art.
For you, seeing the big picture is much more important than recording every little detail.
You can find inspiration anywhere... especially from nature.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The ups and downs of life



I've come to the conclusion that life is a series of changes; some you welcome open-armed, others you run and fight, kicking snd screaming to avoid. I know that I'm hardly the first to come to this conclusion, and I won't be the last. It's just that realizing that nothing witll ever stay the same, or be ok forever makes it easier to bear those silly little problems that you encounter everyday. I refuse to let this "problem" that I'm facing right now send me into the cave of depression and self-pity. Sometimes you need to make a personal resolution public, which is the only reason I'm blogging about this.

And sometimes, You just need a cup of cocoa... which is why I'm drinking one now.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Well, since my previous horrible, self-pity infused, sucky entry, things have picked up. I've figured out that there were only two options: change VA into CO (a venture that is merely doomed to failure) or change my attitude. Guess which one I changed.
Also, since then I've discovered that Elliot Yamin and Josh Groban both have new Christmas songs out this year. And since Mr. Yamin is "Richmond's own" they overplay his song to an extent that even I'm content. Of course, I bought both of them, I'll still overplay it myself. I love that man! Even if he has had work done on his teeth. I'm honest when I say that I screeched "He fixed his teeth!" out loud tonight in the store when I saw him on some magazine cover. The statement screeched itself, I'm usually better self-controlled than that, really.
I've alsofinally tried Starbucks' Peppermint Hot Cocoa. The greatest hot chocolate drink ever made, I tell you!
As you can see, my troubles can't have been too severe, as nothing more than a few consumer products have made life "all better." I'm still suffering from "why doesn't anybody write to or call me?" syndrome, which made it's onset only 4 days ago, but I'll recover from that soon enough.
Why is it that every church I see around here is Baptist if it isn't Methodist? Rhetorical question I guess.

Till next I write!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Adjustments...


If you remember a few months back when I said that I had experienced "crush at first sight" for the first time in my life you will also remember that I said I was getting over it. Well, I lied. I never brought it up again because I knew that it was going nowhere. You would think that now that I live across the dang country from him that I'd have a better grasp on the fact that it was going nowhere, but for some reason I think more about him than any other friend I left behind. I'm talking to more friends than I used to when I lived there (some weird part of me prefers to write to people instead of speak to people face to face) and he isn't one of them. When I left he didn't ask for a phone number or an e-mail. You'd think I'd get the hint that he's not interested.
I do get that hint, I really do. He never acted interested, and I never truly expected him to. So why did I wake up from a dream about him this morning? Why do I see things or people that make me think of him and then smile because of it? Why do certain songs that had no association with him before make me remember him?
Am I that pathetic that I would fixate on some man that I will never have? Am I avoiding my doubt and fear about this move by obsessing with a "safe" issue that will never be resolved? Am I turning my remembrance of Colorado as home into a picture of him as the perfect man for me?
Am I thinking about this too much? Probably. I think that in a few months I'll be so over him that if I do think about him it will merely be a memory of a very nice guy, not "the one that got away." I sure hope so. When I force myself to be reasonable (an activity that frankly I avoid when I can) I remember that there were things about him that annoyed me. With several hundred miles between us it's harder to remember that.
He does, however, hold the distinction of being the only guy friend of mine that I was never sarcastic with. I never once said a flippant or facetious remark in his presence. Even Ray can't make that claim.

In more "fluffy" news, my parakeet, Robbie, loved the drive out here. I'd been worried that being in a car would frighten my poor birdie, but he adored looking out the window and seeing the scenery fly by. He's even enjoying our current cramped living conditions. He seems to like that we're all in one room together most of the day. He's the happiest I've seen him in the year that I've owned him. I've also bought the second volumes of Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain. Good times. In addition to LOST DVDs and tapes I've had lots of entertainment despite not having any sort of cable or satellite for the first time in years.

I'll adjust to this change, just as I adjust to all others. Eventually I will love VA, just as I loved CO. At least, I hope I will.

Till next I write!