Adjustments...

If you remember a few months back when I said that I had experienced "crush at first sight" for the first time in my life you will also remember that I said I was getting over it. Well, I lied. I never brought it up again because I knew that it was going nowhere. You would think that now that I live across the dang country from him that I'd have a better grasp on the fact that it was going nowhere, but for some reason I think more about him than any other friend I left behind. I'm talking to more friends than I used to when I lived there (some weird part of me prefers to write to people instead of speak to people face to face) and he isn't one of them. When I left he didn't ask for a phone number or an e-mail. You'd think I'd get the hint that he's not interested.
I do get that hint, I really do. He never acted interested, and I never truly expected him to. So why did I wake up from a dream about him this morning? Why do I see things or people that make me think of him and then smile because of it? Why do certain songs that had no association with him before make me remember him?
Am I that pathetic that I would fixate on some man that I will never have? Am I avoiding my doubt and fear about this move by obsessing with a "safe" issue that will never be resolved? Am I turning my remembrance of Colorado as home into a picture of him as the perfect man for me?
Am I thinking about this too much? Probably. I think that in a few months I'll be so over him that if I do think about him it will merely be a memory of a very nice guy, not "the one that got away." I sure hope so. When I force myself to be reasonable (an activity that frankly I avoid when I can) I remember that there were things about him that annoyed me. With several hundred miles between us it's harder to remember that.
He does, however, hold the distinction of being the only guy friend of mine that I was never sarcastic with. I never once said a flippant or facetious remark in his presence. Even Ray can't make that claim.

In more "fluffy" news, my parakeet, Robbie, loved the drive out here. I'd been worried that being in a car would frighten my poor birdie, but he adored looking out the window and seeing the scenery fly by. He's even enjoying our current cramped living conditions. He seems to like that we're all in one room together most of the day. He's the happiest I've seen him in the year that I've owned him. I've also bought the second volumes of Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain. Good times. In addition to LOST DVDs and tapes I've had lots of entertainment despite not having any sort of cable or satellite for the first time in years.

I'll adjust to this change, just as I adjust to all others. Eventually I will love VA, just as I loved CO. At least, I hope I will.

Till next I write!