I Quit

Dear Friend,
I quit the Camp NaNoWriMo.  Sorry, but the motivation just wasn't there.  I still love the character I was writing about, and may someday try again to tell her early story.  Or I might just leave it in flashbacks or my own head as I write other stories with her.  Who knows, but there's still plenty of possibilities. 

This experience has left me thinking about quitting, and when it's OK or not OK to give up.  I don't like to quit.  I guess hearing the phrase "Winners never quit and quitters never win" so many times in my life actually set the idea firmly in my brain.  Even when I hate doing something I keep at it.  Most of the time, anyway. 

The biggest thing I ever quit was piano.  I started piano lessons around age eight, and continued steadily until almost eighteen.  I had a large range of teachers, from great to horrible.  The worst of my teachers would change the fingering of pieces, making them harder to play, so that my fingers would look pretty.  Even when she was telling me that I knew she was full of garbage, and I wasn't one of those kids who questioned my teachers. 
My last teacher was a great teacher, and I learned a great deal from her.  Most likely, if I hadn't moved while she was my teacher I would have kept learning from her for a long time.  However, I did move, and when I thought about looking for a new teacher, even working on an audition piece, I was less than enthusiastic.  I had learned a good deal from this teacher, but I hadn't had a lot of fun.  She entered me into a lot of competitions, so a good deal of my practice time was preparing for those, and I never actually liked the compositions she chose for me to compete with. 
That was when I realized, I had been playing songs I either didn't care about or outright didn't like for ten years!  I loved that I knew how to play piano.  I loved the sound of the instrument, I loved classical music.  I didn't love playing only classical music.  By the time I could play a song well I had analyzed and memorized and gone over the music so much that it didn't sound like music anymore.  It sounded like an exercise. Music wasn't fun.

So I quit. 

I've tried a few times in the ten years since to get back into piano, and am on a pretty good run right now.  I can play and enjoy it.  I've missed a lot of really important years of practice, and I've forgotten a lot of things that I should remember, but I like doing it now. 
Don't get me wrong, it's still work, hard work, but I'm able to go at the pace I want, and play what I like.  I'm considering going back to a teacher, but for now I'll enjoy making music.  Not perfect music, just music.