Even conservative me could get kicked out of college!

So, I came across the online posting of campus rules for this (freaky) college down in Florida. I'll refrain from naming this place, but I was just amazed that even I, the goody-two-shoes girl, have the potential to be expelled from a college. I'll just list the rules that would get me in "trouble"

"Women must wear a skirt or dress at all times. Jean skirts are allowed at dating outings only. Long shorts (i.e., "gauchos" or "culottes") which reach the knee are permitted for athletic activity."

Say wha? I refuse to wear a dress at all times. And then, to tell me that I can't wear my jean skirt (which I happen to have on today) is just sick and wrong! It's my favorite skirt!

"Women must wear nylons ("hose") with skirts, but may wear socks with shorts."

I haven't worn nylons in Months! And I've never worn socks with shorts, always sandals. Would these people be offended by the sight of my toes or what?

"You may not wear pants in your dorm, although sweats ARE permitted after prayer group."

Get real.

"No two-piece swimming suits (although, this is a bit irrelevant since a male should never see you swimming)."

So I guess my "tankini" two-peice is out, even though you can't see any of my midsection and it actually covers more of my body than a normal suit. Also, apparently these people are the kind who think "mixed bathing" will send you straight to hell!!!!!!11 (Oh no, I said hell, that's probably against the rules, too!)

"No backless shoes or dresses."

I have more backless shoes than normal ones, dude. No way I'm giving them up. Especially in Florida.

"It should be noted that at any time, the administration (or students authorized by the administration) may go through your room, unannounced, looking for anything unauthorized. Legally or not, this will include opening drawers and going through paperwork. You may or may not be present, and you may or may not be notified."

Um... not only no...

"If you are still in bed you may receive demerits for not having your bed made (although it is acceptable to make your bed, go back to sleep on top of the made bed while your floorleader is checking room jobs, and then crawl back under the covers after the floorleader exits the room. However, you must wait until the floorleader crosses the threshold before actually beginning to "crawl" back under the covers)."

I haven't made my bed first thing in the morning for weeks. Also, note that you can't swim with the opposite sex, but loopholes are perfectly acceptable! Good old "works" mentality (did someone think about this before writing it?)

"After bed-time ("lights out:" 11:00 every day, including weekends) you may receive demerits for talking, taking your contacts out, having your feet on the floor (or possibly suspended a few inches from the floor), being in the bathroom, or basically doing anything but lying in bed."

Whoa. I haven't been in bed before 11 in a really long time. Let alone having the lights out by 11. (suspended above the floor, that's a hoot)

"You may not have: television, personal stereo (walkman), microwave, fans, skillets, hot plate, coffee pot, electric blanket, extra furniture, or a living pet (also presumably includes a "dead" pet - not clear whether this includes pet rocks or plants) of any kind."

I'm so kicked out of this school. (Like I'd ever want to go there!) But seriously, who is using an electric blanket in Florida?!?!)

"You may not sing "too loud" during prayer group."

This wouldn't get me kicked out, I just can't believe it's really a rule.

"You may not go bare-foot in the halls or lounge."

But, barefoot is the way to be.

"You may not go to Cordova Mall after 5:00 p.m."

I know nothing of Cordova Mall, but this is just insane. So are all the other places that they tell their students are off-limits.

"There are a myriad of restaurants the students are not allowed to go to, although faculty and staff frequent them (more specifics on campus)."

Oh, so they're a "Do as I say, not as I do" sort of place. Hypocrites.

"Freshmen/Sophomore women must leave campus in groups of three or more. Junior/Senior women, in groups of 2."

*Sigh*

"You may not go to a public library"

Again, Not only no... Are they crazy? There is no keeping me from a public library. And just what sort of evil is at a library? And who's going to know I'm there?

"Women are not allowed to hold off campus jobs. (All school jobs during the year pay minimum wage or below)"

Double standard time! Why can't women get a job that pays them more than minimum wage? Because it's off-campus! I cannot believe that anyone would subject themselves to such crap. That's exactly what it is, too, utter crap.

"The BMG or Columbia House music club catalogs are not allowed
Music is limited to classical, hymns, accepted "new age" and instrumental, and that distinctive "PCC sound."
No "paraphenelia" (posters, books, stickers, etc) associated with "non-passing" media is allowed in your dorm, on your person, or in your car.
You may recieve demerits for having your radio tuned to a "non-passing" radio station, even if you have not touched the dial since you were home."

(Oops, I guess I just gave the college away, oh well, now you've been warned) As someone who rarely listens to hymns (I think I have one CD that is specifically hymns, it's by Out of Eden, and really good) and who happens to love certain "secular" music and enjoys Radio Disney (yes, I'm 22 and I listen to Radio Disney) I couldn't stand for any of these restrictions. Ever!

"No student is allowed to talk or otherwise interact with another student of the opposite sex outside of a "chaperoned" area. It does not matter if they are alone or among hundreds of students if it is not an "official" chaperoned area."

I can't talk to the boys? Most of my friends are boys! Boys are (or at least tend to be) more interesting than girls! Don't take my boys from me!!!

"There is to be no physical contact between students of the opposite sex, except perhaps on some "dating outings," where hand-holding games are played.
The official rule on "indirect contact" is unknown. It is much talked about, but unevenly enforced. This includes such things as tugging on a coat, poking with a pencil, etc."

Mean, just mean. (Of course, I don't touch people all that much anyway.)

"Siblings of the opposite sex should not interact in unchaperoned areas to abstain from the "appearance of evil."'

Can't even talk to my own brother. *shakes head*

"There is to be NO. . .
Eating food purchased off-campus in a public area
Borrowing
Playing of instruments (of any kind) in your room, or outside. The only place to play on campus is in the practice rooms.
Possession of an electric guitar or amplifier
Horseplay. This is completely subjective and can be for anything from loudness to throwing a pillow.
"Indirect Horseplay." This appears to be watching "horseplay" from a distance without doing anything to stop it/being entertained by it.
Gambling (or possession of standard playing cards).
Attendance at a movie theater or unapproved concert/event."

Good heavens! If I were forced to go to this school, I would be guilty of all of these! (Ok, so I don't have an electric guitar yet, but I would run out and buy one with these ridiculous rules hanging over my head)

"No Lying or any form of deception (widely interpreted and applicable only to students)."

What? The teachers can lie?

I think that's it. But good golly. It's more than enough.